African Arms Manufactures Excited with Obama's Rearmament Plans!

Written by Morse

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

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Moving Backward: Obama Proposes Taking Knife to Gun Fight!

Fledgling ams manufacturers in Kenya, Zimbabwe, Nigeria and South Africa see a 'Huge Stimulus" coming as Obama pledges to revamp the American Military with less deadly but more cost efficient tools in a new PR campaign called "Get High On Americans."

Reports say that Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has reluctantly called for a weapons convention to be held in Orlando where African arms manufacturers will have the opportunity to showcase and field test their products in the hope of winning lucrative contracts.

Since Obama has pledged to rid the US of it's Nuclear War Head defense system, demand heavy tanks get 35mpg, and ground all air force training missions, unless he, VP Biden or Nancy Pelosi need to get to a political rally, visit family, or take in a basketball game, the emphasis on military readiness has been taken off the table due to budget considerations as well as the World's unfavourable perceptions of Americans, and Obama specifically.

Obama is said to be 'really pissed' that more and more ObamaCare details are leaking out confirming everyone's worst fears: the program is not only financially not feasible for an economically strapped country, but that the quality of Health Care in the US will decline.

Indicating just how much is at stake, Obama's 1/2 brother, George, living in a
8x10 pressed beer can shack in Kenya, has been granted a lucrative lobbying position with Blow Gun manufacturing firm "Air Jordan".

The company manufactures a range of close range to medium range blow guns capable of hitting a stationary target from a distance of 1 meter to up to 3 meters at least 27% of the time when operated by an accomplished

Other weapons on display will be a complete line of sling shots used by goat herders to ward off predators called the "Barackabomba", a collection of bolo knives with buffalo sheaths, and some boomerangs built off purloined Australian patents, guaranteed "to take your head off at 75 yards."

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is said to be making a whirl wind tour to third world countries off loading soon to be extinct US weapons, including advanced small arms, river patrol boats, and Harrier Jump Jets.

Somali Pirates are said to be "really happy" with the lifting of the weapons embargo, and are said to now be ready to expand their operations into the Gulf of Florida, San Diego Bay, and up the Hudson River as far as the Statue of Liberty.

Since Obama's mandate replacing live ammunition with Rubber Bullets to protect "Human Rights", most border patrol agents in the South West have taken early retirement, and drugs are now flowing freely as far as Aroostook County Maine where farmers can no longer find potato pickers who can pass a simple drug test.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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