Bin Laden, Al Qaida Network Disappointed in Ratings

Written by Adam Click

Saturday, 13 February 2010

image for Bin Laden, Al Qaida Network Disappointed in Ratings
Talks between Al Qiada and Disney have failed to generate much interest from the corporation.

Osama Bin Laden and the Al Qaida Network are at odds after Bin Laden's latest videos failed to muster viewers. The disappointment is especially bitter for the Al Qaida Network, which had high hopes for the videos after switching the timing of their release from late night to prime time.

Abu Qatada, Al Qaida's program director admitted that moving Osama's video releases to prime time may have been the biggest blunder in network history. Complicating the situation is the fact that Osama's late night replacement, Sinn Fien, is doing exceedingly well in Osama's former time slot and may seek compensation from Al Qaida if they want to restore the original schedule.

"Despite the fact that Sinn Fien hasn't been too violent of late, they still manage to keep the content of their videos fresh and relevant.", explained television critic Bill Carter. "By comparison, Bin Laden's material appears tired and dated. I mean, how many times can you put a diaper on your head and scream "I kill you! I kill you!". Sure it's funny at first, but after awhile you just loose interest.".

The spectacle hasn't been lost on other terrorist groups which routinely mock Bin Laden and Sinn Fien in their own videos. The funniest of which belong to Babbar Khalsa, and GRAPO-Antifascist Resistance Groups October First-who lampooned the situation in a terrorist video which went viral on the internet video-sharing website, YouTube.

For his part, Bin Laden appears indifferent to the controversy surrounding his videos. With thousands of followers and five years remaining on his iron-clad contract with the Al Qaida Network, he can afford to wait and let things sort themselves out.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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