Written by Unconfirmed Source

Thursday, 24 June 2004

image for Diebold To Buy Federal Election Commission!
The Future?

Unconfirmed sources report the Bush administration is ready to sell off the FEC to Diebold, maker of touch screen voting machines. Diebold will pay an undisclosed amount for the government commission and assume all of its functions and responsibilities.

Diebold and the White House refused to comment on the impending purchase but one industry watcher shared his observations.

"This is a very shrewd move by both Diebold and the Bush Administration. By selling the FEC the administration gets rid the headache of having to take any responsibility for election reform. For Diebold it makes sense to get in on the decision making process. The combination of Diebold and FEC will streamline the transition to new and untested voting technology without public comment. It will also quell any controversy over voting security standards. With Diebold writing the standards their equipment will automatically be in compliance."

The Sale of the FEC will be yet another step in the administrations goal of privatizing nonessential governmental functions. Budget hawks are applauding the sale, yet it is unclear how much money will be saved as the government will be buying all Diebold equipment.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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