A host of Z-list cartoon characters have been slated by a watchdog magazine for failing to entertain today's children.
Amongst the slighted stars are The Honey Monster, Tony The Tiger, Snap, Crackle and Pop, Moo the Dairylea cow, Coco the Coco Pops monkey and Quicky the Nesquik Bunny.
The pointless characters who roar, pose, say its grrreat, steal lunchboxes and turn the milk brown were today slammed by the industry watchdog as being outmoded, pointless and ridiculous.
A spokesman commented,"Who wants to see three effeminate elves poncing round a breakfast dish every morning, while a rapping monkey turns your milk into diarrhea-with his magic straw?"
Tony the Tiger commented, "I've been entertaining kids with my muscular frame and special stripy scarf well before scarves became synonymous with homosexuality. Kids don't care that my cereal is 40% sugar, we're giving away a free gastric band operation with every 60 packets anyway."
The Coco Pops Monkey was adamant that his job is safe, adding,"Man they got no other ethnic cartoon characters out there!"
An obese child asked,"Is that kid in the Rice Krispies advert Scottish or not?"