Strange theories are floating around America at this hour … is Donald Trump pulling a Houdini to escape justice? Or would a better character analogy be Clark Kent? Never seeing Cark and Superman in the same place at the same time (cuz everyone can’t…
Donald has finally taken the Fifth! Yay! Everybody knows when a braggart talks, he eventually eats his owns words. Now, why not sit at Donald’s table and have a nice big bowl of 5th Cereal – a Trump brand product. May contain lies, brags, grop…
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - A consumer advocate organization known as the We're Watching 'Em Consumer Advocate Group (WWECAG), has just made a very interesting discovery. The group based in Hackensack, New Jersey, has just discovered that the…
A cereal killer who's been nicknamed the "Bowl Over Boy" has been terrorizing households in suburban Indianapolis in recent weeks, raiding pantries, rifling through cabinets, and leaving no cereal in the Indianapolis metro area, whether whole-grain...
Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday. The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, t...
VALDOSTA, GA - Early this morning, local bachelor Logan Green made a startling discovery as he slurped the last drops of milk from his morning bowl of Froot Loops. "I think I like this milk more than I like the Coco Puffs milk," he said, before takin...
ATLANTA, GA - Steny Tripinski, senior spokesperson for the Centers for Disease Control, has issue a new SARS alert, confirming that scientists have discovered evidence of a new SARS Virus in multiple boxes of latest breakfast cereal, 'SARS-Flavored C...
The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...
Super Businessman and inventor of TV's 'The Apprentice' Sir Alan has teamed up with those loveable rascals Jedward to launch a new cereal to get Britain's kids eating healthily. Twins Noel and Keith Jedward were only too keen to make even more mon...
LA, CA-- Heidi Montag, "reality" TV star and plastic surgery addict got quite a shock at breakfast this morning when her nose fell off in her bowl of Cornflakes! The horrified starlet, who was by now wide awake, dug her nose out of her breakfast,...
Here is another story about your tax dollars being put to good use. A research scientist in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of a couple of the largest cereal manufacturers in the United States, has just concluded a year-long study into the effects certa...
The US Food and Drug Administration, taking the unprecedented step of barring the manufacture and sale of a perfectly legal product, has banned the manufacture, sale or use of cereal variety packs. " 'Big Cereal' has taken advantage of moms, value...
Famous brothers Snap, Crackle and Pop have announced that they are splitting up after decades of working together on the cereal promotion circuit. The elves, who were "snapped" up by cereal giant Kellogg's to be the official mascots of Rice Krisp...
Canadian Model Coco Rocha who weighs only 7st 7lbs is being turned down for work on the catwalk because idiots are claiming she is to fat. Now Coco has gone on a diet eating only the breakfast cereal Coco Pops and although she has still not found...
A famous cereal manufacturer that makes a popular brand of multigrain hooped breakfast cereal (but not the ones you're thinking of, a completely different manufacturer) has been lambasted by advertising watchdogs for promoting prostitution on the bac...
Silly rabbit! If you hadn't been in the alley behind the supermarket sneaking a box of Trix (they're for kids!), you might not have been murdered by a cereal killer! The crime, the third this month, was the first to take place in an open area out...
Los Angeles, CA police officials are investigating the apparent shooting death of Sonny, the Cocoa Puffs Cuckoo Bird. Sonny, real name Glen Fitzpatrick, was found dead on November 27th in the two room apartment he shared with his sister Mabel. Fitzpa...
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