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Funny satire stories about cereal

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Funny story: Cereal Killer Terrorizes Suburban Indianapolis

Cereal Killer Terrorizes Suburban Indianapolis

A cereal killer who's been nicknamed the "Bowl Over Boy" has been terrorizing households in suburban Indianapolis in recent weeks, raiding pantries, rifling through cabinets, and leaving no cereal in the Indianapolis metro area, whether whole-grain...

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Funny story: Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Survey Shows 80% of People Will Not Be Told To Eat Porridge By Conservatives

Lady Jenkin's speech telling poor people to eat the disgusting sloppy prison fodder known as porridge fell on deaf ears yesterday. The peer told the press conference, which was attended by the Pope and the archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, t...

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Funny story: Local Bachelor Prefers Drinking Milk of Froot Loops Over Milk of Coco Puffs

Local Bachelor Prefers Drinking Milk of Froot Loops Over Milk of Coco Puffs

VALDOSTA, GA - Early this morning, local bachelor Logan Green made a startling discovery as he slurped the last drops of milk from his morning bowl of Froot Loops. "I think I like this milk more than I like the Coco Puffs milk," he said, before takin...

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Funny story: SARS Virus Discovered In New SARS-Flavored Cheerios

SARS Virus Discovered In New SARS-Flavored Cheerios

ATLANTA, GA - Steny Tripinski, senior spokesperson for the Centers for Disease Control, has issue a new SARS alert, confirming that scientists have discovered evidence of a new SARS Virus in multiple boxes of latest breakfast cereal, 'SARS-Flavored C...

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Funny story: New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

New vegetarian muesli set to hit shelves soon

The makers of the Alpine brand of muesli have announced that they will soon be producing a vegetarian version of their famous muesli breakfast cereal. Whereas standard Alpine, and indeed most makes of muesli contain approximately two percent meat pr...

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Funny story: Sir Alan Signs Cereal Deal

Sir Alan Signs Cereal Deal

Super Businessman and inventor of TV's 'The Apprentice' Sir Alan has teamed up with those loveable rascals Jedward to launch a new cereal to get Britain's kids eating healthily. Twins Noel and Keith Jedward were only too keen to make even more mon...

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Funny story: Heidi Montag's Nose Falls Into Bowl of Cornflakes!

Heidi Montag's Nose Falls Into Bowl of Cornflakes!

LA, CA-- Heidi Montag, "reality" TV star and plastic surgery addict got quite a shock at breakfast this morning when her nose fell off in her bowl of Cornflakes! The horrified starlet, who was by now wide awake, dug her nose out of her breakfast,...

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Funny story: Children Who Eat Alpha-Bits Cereal 30% Smarter Than Those Who Don't

Children Who Eat Alpha-Bits Cereal 30% Smarter Than Those Who Don't

Here is another story about your tax dollars being put to good use. A research scientist in Battle Creek, Michigan, home of a couple of the largest cereal manufacturers in the United States, has just concluded a year-long study into the effects certa...

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Funny story: FDA Bans Sale Of Cereal Variety Packs

FDA Bans Sale Of Cereal Variety Packs

The US Food and Drug Administration, taking the unprecedented step of barring the manufacture and sale of a perfectly legal product, has banned the manufacture, sale or use of cereal variety packs. " 'Big Cereal' has taken advantage of moms, value...

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Funny story: Snap, Crackle, Where's Pop?

Snap, Crackle, Where's Pop?

Famous brothers Snap, Crackle and Pop have announced that they are splitting up after decades of working together on the cereal promotion circuit. The elves, who were "snapped" up by cereal giant Kellogg's to be the official mascots of Rice Krisp...

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Funny story: Model Coco to appear on freaky eaters as she eats only CoCo pops

Model Coco to appear on freaky eaters as she eats only CoCo pops

Canadian Model Coco Rocha who weighs only 7st 7lbs is being turned down for work on the catwalk because idiots are claiming she is to fat. Now Coco has gone on a diet eating only the breakfast cereal Coco Pops and although she has still not found...

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Funny story: Cereal Manufacturer Rapped for Promoting Prostitution

Cereal Manufacturer Rapped for Promoting Prostitution

A famous cereal manufacturer that makes a popular brand of multigrain hooped breakfast cereal (but not the ones you're thinking of, a completely different manufacturer) has been lambasted by advertising watchdogs for promoting prostitution on the bac...

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Funny story: Cereal Killer Murders Trix Rabbit

Cereal Killer Murders Trix Rabbit

Silly rabbit! If you hadn't been in the alley behind the supermarket sneaking a box of Trix (they're for kids!), you might not have been murdered by a cereal killer! The crime, the third this month, was the first to take place in an open area out...

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Funny story: More Questions Than Answers in Death of Commercial Legend

More Questions Than Answers in Death of Commercial Legend

Los Angeles, CA police officials are investigating the apparent shooting death of Sonny, the Cocoa Puffs Cuckoo Bird. Sonny, real name Glen Fitzpatrick, was found dead on November 27th in the two room apartment he shared with his sister Mabel. Fitzpa...

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Funny story: Iowa Nude Country Corn Flakes Releases 1st Gay Couple Ad

Iowa Nude Country Corn Flakes Releases 1st Gay Couple Ad

Nude Country Corn Flakes has been advertising the unadorned and downright plain, call it nude, recipe for their nothing but Iowa corn flakes. The Mennonite farmer founders of the simple cereal never dreamt that their state's Supreme Court would grant...

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Funny story: Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Silly Rabbit, "Plan B Morning-After Cereal" is for Kids!

Madison Avenue, New York - Once rabbits were used to determine if a "woman" was pregnant, giving up their lives in the process, but those days were as barbaric and outmoded as parental supervision is today. All thanks to a US court ruling that has or...

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Funny story: Kell Logg Unleashes Diabetes Epidemic on San Francisco Homeless

Kell Logg Unleashes Diabetes Epidemic on San Francisco Homeless

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - In a continued campaign of hatred for pot smokers, the Kell Logg Flake Company has now launched all-out biological warfare on the homeless of San Francisco. Two volunteers were injured when the popular cereal manufacturer dumped...

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