DeBeers unveils "Herpes is forever" campaign

Funny story written by joespr

Sunday, 30 May 2004


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Beats diamonds, says mining company

Johannesburg, South Africa-- DeBeers, the world's largest diamond producer, today announced that herpes was "more forever" than glittery stones. "So we're switching our advertising campaign to be truthful," said its chief marketing officer.

"One thing we know is that sex is more prevalent than money in human affairs, so you can get herpes whether you have the money for diamonds or not. And why shouldn't advertising tell the truth?" he added.

"Yes, we're aware that unemployment for our miners may result from our new campaign, but they will have more free time to go home and have sex. Meanwhile, doctors and drug companies will see an increase in business," he said.

"On the other hand," he noted, "if you want a mistress, you can get more sex with diamonds than you can with herpes. A lot more."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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