DeBeers unveils "Herpes is forever" campaign

Funny story written by joespr

Sunday, 30 May 2004

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

Beats diamonds, says mining company

Johannesburg, South Africa-- DeBeers, the world's largest diamond producer, today announced that herpes was "more forever" than glittery stones. "So we're switching our advertising campaign to be truthful," said its chief marketing officer.

"One thing we know is that sex is more prevalent than money in human affairs, so you can get herpes whether you have the money for diamonds or not. And why shouldn't advertising tell the truth?" he added.

"Yes, we're aware that unemployment for our miners may result from our new campaign, but they will have more free time to go home and have sex. Meanwhile, doctors and drug companies will see an increase in business," he said.

"On the other hand," he noted, "if you want a mistress, you can get more sex with diamonds than you can with herpes. A lot more."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more