America's Bear Stearns goes bi-polar

Written by queen mudder

Friday, 14 March 2008

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Bear Stearns' market value has plummeted to $666,911 today

Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Rioters): Amid echoes of a return to the 1990s' dreaded bear-markets one of the USA's biggest investment banks Bear Stearns is on the verge of going belly-up today.

"It's a psychotic, delusional market condition," an Off-the-Wall-Stret analyst said today, "kinda bi-polar Bear Stearns if ya like."

The situation has been likened to the UK's Northern Crock Bank which collapsed last year before being bailed out by Prime Monster Gorgon Brown with a nifty £100 billion ($200+ billion) treasury handout.

Bear Stearns today received an emergency subvention from JP Morgan - the bank that hired Tony Blair for £5 million this year.

Its position as the USA's fifth largest share dealer has now plummeted after its market value collapsed from $30 billion in 2006 to roughly $666,911 at the close of business today.

"Things could be grim by Monday Morning," insider trading sources admitted late this evening.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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