Major EBAY Acquisition Announced

Funny story written by Passion Vine House

Thursday, 11 October 2007

image for Major EBAY Acquisition Announced
Meg Whitman to get laid in China

San Jose, California - In one of the largest and most lucrative transactions in the world of mergers and acquisitions eBay Inc (EBAY) announced today that it has completed the deal to buy China.

Details of the merger are scarce but according to an eBay analyst, China will receive one eBay share for every one million Chinese citizens. If this is true it could have far reaching consequences for the Chinese people.

One thing is for sure, China will certainly now put a stop their plan to control the population by executing old people at birth, (as reported by

It is also understood that in owning China eBay now owns Wal-Mart. In a very brief statement eBay CEO Meg Whitman said she plans for PayPal to be the only method of payment customers of Wal-Mart can use from Jan 1st next year. An estacic Whitman said she is incredibly happy with the deal as she always wanted to own a small country.

Jim Cramer of Mad Money has moved EBAY into the 'strong buy' group of stocks saying he would not be a bit surprised to see it's price go to $600. The only downside to the merger seems to be the closing of the China-based business to business marketplace site and, a consumer to consumer auction website.

Chinese authorities are closing the Mai Ping Brothel but that has nothing to do with the merger.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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