Written by kurlyQ

Tuesday, 13 March 2007

image for Japan moves to protect used schoolgirl panty market
This guy makes $3000 a week, personally producing "authentic" schoolgirl panties

Tokyo- Today Japanese trade minister Yumi Kumimori announced that starting on January 1st 2007 the government will impose a 100% tariff on each pair of imported used schoolgirl panties.

The move was seen as a response to the growing demand at home for a wider selection of crotch odors. Recently, the purchase in Tokyo of the pink panties worn by Britney Spears in her groundbreaking schoolgirl video Baby hit me one more time by a consortium of 1200 Final Fantasy 13 enthusiasts for 1.2 million dollars helped fuel the demand for the "juicier, sweatier" smell of the American high school girl and the resulting skyrocketing rise in imports of the dirty thongs of blonde haired blue eyed gymnasts who showered only twice a week so as to demand top dollar for their soiled undergarments.

This also gave rise to a secondary market in well worn leotards, though being much more expensive an item of adoration they are sold in specialty shops in only a few big cities such as Tokyo and Yokohama.

Moving to protect their domestic panty market and the after school income of thousands of pigtailed schoolgirls (actually overweight housewives) the government began seizing thousands of pairs of panties and leotards even before the new law went into effect and,to the chagrin of panty sniffers all over Japan, began WASHING the dirty drawers and distributing them to the poor and needy!

Local Kobe odor coniseur and fishmonger Michio Kurasawa said "the government should keep their nose out of the panty market and let the consumer decide!"

While not as big a market here in the States, the resulting retaliatory tariff increase has sent the price of a pair of "authentic" Japanese freshman schoolgirl panties worn for 3 days to an all time high of 319.56 at the close of the days trading.

Los Angeles importer/exporter Nadine Miteewiff said: "overnight I've gone from shipping over 6,000 pair's of smelly knickers a week down to just 500 I've had to quit buying from over 2700 young ladies! I can't tell you the financial impact this war of the undies is having on all sectors of the local economy!Business stinks, yesterday that was a good thing,today I've got a`warehouse thats attracting every cat in a three county radius!"

There appears to be no end to the dispute and already an underground of underwear has appeared with illegal hanes her ways flowing both ways!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Japan, Panties

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