Tokyo - For the first time since the competition was established in 1931, the annual World Genital Mutilation Championships will not involve a Japanese person.
After 16 eye watering rounds only two contenders remain, David 'iron nuts' Boicer from the USA will take on Pierre 'asbestos bollocks' Matin from France.
The odds are fairly evenly split - as will be the loser on the evening of Jan 31st when the World Genital Mutilation Champion receives the coveted Bandage.
In a remarkable turn of events, Hollywood film producers will be releasing the new Rocky film for those who believe watching Genital Mutilation is not gruelling enough.
