Walmart, in a pickle AND a jam since the Cincinnati explosion is now trying to explain why WKYI of Bakersfield broke a story accusing Walmart of hiring corpses to sit in their wheelchairs and greet people at the front door. Ken "Kenneth" of WKYI explained saying,
"I entered Walmart. The old geezer in the wheelchair wouldn't tell me for the 100th time where I could find a basket so I kind of lost it. I wheeled the idiot into the main part of Walmart unfortunately tripping over a stray basket (which I was LOOKING for in the first place) sending the Geezer plummeting to the floor next to the McDonald's, dead."
Little did Kenneth know that the geezer was already dead .. had been in such a state for over 2 years according to Walmart. After being discovered Walmart issued the following official Walmart statement ..
"Ok, you got us. Yes we do use heart-beat challenged individuals as door greeters however .. do you folks want us to roll back prices or NOT? It's up to you. A dead person we don't even have to pay minimum wage. Zero in fact. Add all that up when you find yourself getting 40 cents off a 3 roll pack of Charmin which at Target would cost you a buck fifty where they have to pay their door greeters money YOU could pocket instead. Here at Walmart."
When asked where their dead door greeters lived, Walmart's Bakersfield manager took reporters to the store's walk-in freezer in back and pointed to a spot next to the frozen peas.
"I'd best not say too much without attorneys present" the Bakersfield Walmart Manager told the reporters adding,
"But you CAN speak freely with one of our door greeters."
