Apple pins hopes on new iSteve amid declining sales and stock price

Funny story written by Ducksley

Thursday, 17 January 2013

Faced with falling sales and a stock at it's lowest price in nearly a year, Apple is rushing to develop the new iSteve, which, upon release, will reportedly take over the company's reins from CEO Tim Cook, according to unnamed insiders.

"Tim is a nice guy and not a bad boss, but he just doesn't have the charisma and vision that Steve Jobs had," said business writer Morley Borgwart. "This is a way for the company to kind of bring Steve back."

Few details are known about the iSteve, said Borgward. "Word on the street is that it will be a combination phone, tablet, vacuum cleaner and CEO. It won't really look like Steve, although Apple is intent on including some sort of black turtleneck into the design."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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