I'll Have Another Milkshake says Gina Rinehart

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Monday, 28 May 2012

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Aussie Gina Rinehart the world's richest woman with $30 Billion just bought McDonald's Australia for her own personal use. Gina Rinehart will not be riding I'll Have Another in his bid for the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes two weeks from now. That honor goes to previously unknown jockey Mario Gutierrez. Donald Trump is now demanding to see Super Mario Gutierrez' birth certificate.

Unlike Gina Rinehart I'll Have Another was not born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Gina Rinehart is the daughter of mining millionaire Lang Hancock. Gina Rinehart is proof that money does not buy happiness. Gina Rinehart is being sued by three of her four children for withholding their trust fund from them.

Money cannot buy love or happiness but it can buy you a champion horse. Most of the top horses are owned by Iranian oil Ayatollahs and nuclear scientists. These horse people hire astute horsemen and women to scout for talent. In September 2010 when I'll Have Another Milkshake was a one year old the geniuses at the Keenland Sales all concluded that I'll Have Another was a piece of garbage and he was sold to Victor Davila for $11,000. Gina Rinehart makes $11,000 a second.

I'll Have Another is now 3 years old and when he was 2 years old Victor Davila gave up on him and sold him at the Ocala Breeder's sale for $35,000 to philosophy professor J. Paul Reddam who wanted to rename him "Do We Exist?"

We do exist for now but our extinction may be at hand according to Stephen Hawking and Richard Leakey due to world nuclear war and pollution. There is a famous picture of Gina Rinehart with her triple chin wearing a mining hat and holding up a piece of coal. It's hard to tell if she thinks that it's a piece of coal or a Chicken McNugget.

The question is why did nobody realize that I'll Have Another was a great horse? The next question is is I'll Have Another a great horse? Tiger Woods is blaming his shakiness on the greens to steroid withdrawal. I'll Have Another's trainer Doug O'Neill was just suspended by the California Horse Racing Board for juicing his horses by giving them milkshakes. His horses got caught with elevated carbon dioxide levels.

Burning coal and oil produces carbon dioxide. Global warming is caused by burning coal and oil. Doug O'Neill argued at his hearing that his horses had elevated carbon dioxide levels from the burning of coal, pointing the finger directly at Gina Rinehart. Acid rain is caused by carbon dioxide emissions from burning coal.

Human beings are made of air, water and earth. Gina Rinehart is buying up the Australian media and she founded the anti tax and climate change debunking group ANDEV to convince the world that acid rain is beneficial for the earth, water and air. Gina Rinehart is now financing a remake of 'Coal Miner's Daughter'. She has cast Brooklyn Decker to play Gina Rinehart and Mitt Romney to play Doolittle. Our society has rewarded Gina Rinehart with $30 billion dollars. Do we deserve to exist?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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