King Charles addresses the rumor that one of the Buckingham Palace royal guards is an Al-Qaeda terrorist
Tickety Boo News reporter Grover Buck first broke the story about a Buckingham Palace guard actually being an Al-Qaeda operative. Buck said that he got the scoop from record producer and businessman Simon Cowell. Cowell reportedly heard the rum…
Read full storyA tremendous mudslide buries dozens of Italian vineyards
The cost of wine will certainly be going up as a recent mudslide has destroyed over 30 of Italy's best vineyards. The mudslide nicknamed "II Fango," struck at 3:33 am, Cleveland time. Early reports are that two of "The Boot Country's" major vin…
Read full storyThe sexy golfing beauty Holly Sonders signs a contract with Victoria's Secret to model her own line of sensible sportswear
Victoria's Secret is proud as hell to announce that they have just signed golfing sensation Holly Sonders to a very lucrative modeling contract. Miss Sonders will be modeling her own line of sensible and fully supportive sportswear called, Holly's…
Read full storyHall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan opens up Ryan's Fastball Chicken Diner
(SPORTS NEWS) - Sporting Chance Magazine writer Hercules Confetti has just broken the story that the greatest baseball pitcher of all-time has just opened up Ryan's Fastball Chicken Diner in his hometown of Alvin, Texas. Confetti noted that Nolan,…
Read full storyMcDonalds is now selling McPopcorn
The McDonalds menu food items department is always working overtime, and they have just come up with the latest food item addition. A spokesperson for Mickey D's said that their test kitchen in Cicero, Illinois, has come up with their latest and g…
Read full storyThe disgraced Don Lemon's new book is titled, "I just got too damn arrogant and I believed that I was the Michael Jordan of the news world"
There is no doubt in anyone's mind that Louisiana native Don "Lemonhead" Lemon, just got a little too big for his effen britches, as they say down in the swamps and bayous of mosquito-riddled Louisiana. (Well, they probably don't, but don't worry.
Read full storyKing Charles and President Biden sign 'The Anti-Terrorist Pact"
Word filtering out of Buckingham Palace is that King Charles III, and President Joe Biden have agreed to sign what they are calling the "US/UK Anti-Terrorist Pact." According to Buckingham Palace spokesperson Nigel Foote, the pact states in no unc…
Read full storyTwo members of the Proud Boys planned to steal Gov. Greg "Eggplant Face" Abbott's wheelchair
The FBI has uncovered a plot by two low-level members of the highly extremist group, The Proud Boys, who were going to steal Gov. "Shitface" Abbott's million dollar wheelchair and throw it in the Gulf of Mexico. Federal agents Clive P. Trailwood a…
Read full storyTrump has just picked Ted Cruz to be his vice-presidential running mate
Well ladies and gentleman, it is now official, Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump, who many are calling the "Teflon Racist" has just informed the news media that he has chosen Guatemala native Sen. Ted Cruz to be his official 2024 presidential election ru…
Read full storyWhataburger has just named their latest burger in honor of Kobe Bryant
The Whataburger corporate headquarters has just named their latest addition to their food item menu in honor of the Los Angeles Lakers great, Kobe Bryant. The new burger has been christened The WhataKobe. The national burger chain spoke with Mr…
Read full story