Man Gets Eaten By Giant Venus Fly Trap
Des Moines, Iowa horticulturist, Larry Leaf, came across the deal of a lifetime. For a meager 10 dollars Larry would obtain the seeds of a very powerful plant that would allow him to alleviate his obnoxious neighbors from his life. He planted the s...
Read full storyTrump Declares Day of Mourning for Victims of Sweden Disaster and the Bowling Green Massacre
Washington, DC Kellyanne Conway announced that Trump was declaring April 1st a national "Day of Mourning" for the victims of the Sweden Disaster and the Bowling Green Massacre. She said, "President Trump asks that everybody take a few minutes out of...
Read full story"An Immodest Proposal: Leak of Sensitive Document"
An unidentified source working for a junior congressperson in the Capitol building has provided this reporter with an addendum to the American Healthcare Act. The full text is given below: H.R. xxxxxx-An Addendum to the American Healthcare Act...
Read full storyYou too can be president!
That's right! You too can be President of the United States of America! It can be surprisingly easy. If you think that you lack the qualifications to be President, because you don't have any experience in government, because you know nothing about foreign affairs, or the economy, or the Constitution, or the environment, or because you have the attention span of a gnat, well think again! None...
Read full storyDear Congressman Chaffetz
Dear Congressman Chaffetz: I just wanted you to know that the day after you spoke out about health insurance for low income Americans, I cancelled my order for a new iPhone 7. Not only that, but I got together with the other tenants in my apartment building, and persuaded them to cancel their orders for new iPhones. And without any further urging from me, they voted to a man to cancel all out...
Read full story