USA Workers Declare Next Friday ME-FIRST DAY!
They got the idea for this when they recently saw an airliner get passengers off a plane to make room for airline employees who needed transport to a work destination. "Yes," one employee shouted, continuing, "Up with employees, down with the cus...
Read full storyNorth Korea threatens to nuke Australia
Chubby despot Kim Jong Un has threatened to fire nuclear weapons at Australia, after the Aussie Prime Minister said he would "stand by the US like a mate at a barbie". The North Korean leader may not have missiles that can reach the US, but Australia...
Read full storyEbdon breaks four minute barrier
The snooker world was rocked today when Peter Ebdon played a shot in under four minutes. It happened at the Heapey Open Snooker Championship. I caught up with him as he walked back to his dressing room, being very careful not to step in the trail...
Read full storyRise in Spontaneous Human Combustion Fueled by Trump Election
An alarming increase in cases of spontaneous human combustion (SHC) among Americans is reportedly due in large part to anger from the election of Donald Trump and a Republican led Congress. That's according to an explosive study from More On, a Calif...
Read full storyBrit fatties overtake German fatties as Nr 2 behind global leaders, US fatties!
Once upon a time German male holidaymakers took the biscuit in showing off their mega-beer-bellied, sausage gorging fatties proudly patrolling the beaches, swimming pools and other near naked holiday places. It seems that ranking has now been take...
Read full storyPollsters Predict Catastrophic UK General Election Defeat For Conservatives
UK polling organisations have today published their predictions for the June 8th UK General Election. They forecast unanimously that the Conservatives will suffer a crushing defeat, losing their majority in parliament. The pollsters have furthe...
Read full storyJared Kushner named Secretary of Everything
After almost every other staff member of President Trump's (brief pause to vomit) administration has either royally screwed up or committed outright treason, The Donald's son-in-law has been announced as "Secretary of Everything". "We trust Jare...
Read full storySpoofomaniac
I've always drunk water EVER so cold And have done since I was 15 months old Afore that, kind Sirs, I'm bound to admit I was keen for a suck of me dear old mam's tit And sometimes, still am. Oh, please, Sirs, I beg you! Don't scold me! Don't chide! From your derision, 'tis true, I have nowhere to hide Don't hate me! Don't slate me! It's a lie! I'm not cheap! (Though it's true I once had...
Read full storyHillary Clinton has begun to urinate in public
Little Rocks, Arkansas - Joggers along the Arkansas River Trail have called our news room after many observed Hillary crawling on the trail, stopping frequently to urinate. "It was totally disgusting", reported Mr. Edophilepay, when he phoned in...
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