New York City Cockroach Finally Gets His Own Apartment
After a lifetime of couch-surfing, squatting in abandoned tenements, and even sleeping in overflowing trash bins when he couldn't find some sympathetic soul to put him up, New York City cockroach Chuck Felsin has finally gotten his own apartment.
Read full storyDoor to Narnia Discovered in Truck Stop Bathroom
Narnia, long thought to be a mythical place concocted by writer C.S. Lewis, has a newly found entrance in the U.S. A source, speaking only under the cover of anonymity, told this tale. "I was drivin' on an empty highway in North Eastern Califor...
Read full storyMurderer Told He Will Not Face Jail
A man who, it has been claimed, is responsible for at least 1,000 murders has been told that he will be spared a prison sentence because all of the victims were ants. Moys Kenwood, originally from Hull in East Yorkshire, has admitted that he has k...
Read full storyTrump Sues NASA, Rants about Zodiac Sign Change
New York, NY - After conferring with Ivanka Trump and Marla Maples, Donald J. Trump had decided to sue NASA over its recent decision to change the Zodiac signs for 80% of the world's population. Trump's sign was changed from Gemini to Taurus. A Gem...
Read full storyThe White Stuff
I like milk, I'm inclined to say, And I drink it keenly, ev'ry day One me Corn Flakes, in me tea, Sans milk, the same, it would not be Does the milkmaid, on her stool Know the bliss she brings this fool? Udder clenched - then, without fail The white stuff spurts into her pail! And then the milkman, on his float Provides according to Mum's note Chilled and pure as driven snow The mil...
Read full storyLeave Them Alone
Ants, ants, ants They're not very nice Weird little bodies Creeping, crawling, swarming But they're all 'people' If we go back far enough They can't help their nasty habits So leave them alone Bees, bees, bees They're not very nice Black and yellow Buzzing, buzzing, buzzing But they're all 'people' If we go back far enough They can't help their nasty habits, so leave them alone...
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