The Hyperdermic Olympics
There has always been a concern that there's more drugs in Russian athletes than in most 60s rock bands. After more Russian athletes were banned from competing in the Rio Olympics we caught up with our good friend Vald Putin to see what he had to say...
Read full storyArsenal: The UK's Injury Specialists
Arsenals latest "win a all expenses paid long term holiday" winner is giant defensive liability Per Mertesacker, accepting the honour by picking up a injury in the meaningless friendly against Lens. Arsenals injury record, which is occasionally th...
Read full storyAmerica Officially Placed on Suicide Watch, After Clinton, Trump Accept Nominations
Now that Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have officially been named their parties representatives at their party's conventions, many Americans are in a dark place. Some were holding out hope that this catastrophe wouldn't actually happen, but now al...
Read full story2016 NFL Predictions
*In late August, Aaron Rodgers disappears for two days, and later claims to have been abducted by aliens. Rodgers tearfully admits that the aliens probed him rectally with a vegetable, and many Rodgers critics later claim that he still has the cornco...
Read full storyManchester City pay man £50m a year to remove pizza from Joe Hart's diet
Pep has been in place for a few weeks now and City's head honcho has managed to work out exactly why the team under achieved last season. Pizza. Yes, you can assume that City will not be announcing Pizza Express as their official Pizza Partner...
Read full storyRepublicans to Attempt to Bribe Trump Into Not Running
Washington, DC The Republican Party, after the 2016 Republican Convention nominated Donald Trump and Mike Pence for its official candidates, woke up and realized it was really happening and not just a bad dream. Realizing they were headed for one of...
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