Wall Crashes after 42 Bottles of Beer
Wall Street (SAPP) - Hackers from Bavaria have claimed responsibility for toppling a wall full of beer bottles. This follows a long string of mishaps regarding wall security tactics and countermeasures. This most recent security breach is by far the worst. "There were originally about 103 bottles of beer on the wall," says Bud Visor, chief of wall security. "I will be checking into the log file...
Read full storyWhite House changes Independence Day to Fourth of July
In order to not offend those of Anglo Saxon heritage, the White House has decided to replace Independence Day with the Fourth of July. Fully one third of the colonists during the American Revolution were loyal to the King and fought against establish...
Read full storyTrump Will Re-Start Trump University With a Brand-New Curriculum
New York, NY Donald Trump took time off from his failing presidential campaign to announce that he would be opening his failed college, Trump University, for the second time. "This time we have a solid line-up of classes that can't help but make e...
Read full storyRepublican Party Will Disband In Lieu of Backing Trump for President
Washington, DC The Republican Party announced today that they would disband rather than back Donald Trump, who according to their process, has won enough delegates to secure the Republican Party nomination for U.S. President. The Republican Party,...
Read full story