Being a Smartass is Good for You, and Even Better for the Ass
I cannot tell you how uplifting Francesca Gino's recent article in Scientific American magazine made me feel. All my life I have been harassed, whether it be by my parents or close friends, as having a terribly sarcastic attitude towards life and all the assholes I have to share it with. Then, finally, I find an article from who the hell knows whom, which justifies my entire reason for being.
Read full storyGlobal warming, penguins, and a whole bunch of ice cream
Is it hot in here? If by "here" you mean the planet earth then yes. Well that's not entirely true; it's still pretty cold in Canada, Russia, even Iceland. However, records show that average temperatures are increasing not only in the United States, but in the coldest nations on earth. Who's to blame? Scientists believe they have found the culprit; its name is Global Warming. Global Warmin...
Read full storyAn Englishman named George Bush is jailed for selling dead monkey heads and having beastiality images
LONDON, England - Some psycho named George Bush (no, he's from the Erith section of London, England, and he is not, and I will repeat, he is not from the powerful, influential, Republican, Texas family of U.S. Presidents), has been jailed for 14 mon...
Read full storyEPA Formally Declares Clouds a Dangerous Pollutant
WASHINGTON, DC - Today, the EPA classified clouds as "pollutants" under section 202(a) of the Clean Air Act. The declaration came after a new study was released, indicating that clouds are playing a larger role in melting the Greenland Ice Sheet t...
Read full storyCincinnati Zoo names ugly baby penguin chick after David Bowie
CINCINNATI Ohio - You'd think a legendary musical artist who suffered for a year and a half with cancer before his death would just be allowed to rest in peace. But no, a zoo named a baby blue or fairy penguin, who arrived to this world weighing 46 g...
Read full storyGender Abolished; Teens No Longer Chained By Oppression
Gender has officially been abolished; states world leaders exiting a UN conference. "I feel that America needs to address the oppression that teens have to deal with just because they were born with a certain type of genitalia. " Says president o...
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