Disneyland Boosts Tickets to $99 and Local Cash Advance Loan Business Soars
Like a pack of meth addicts whose supply has been cut off, many families are now scrambling to find a way to continue getting their happy high at southern California's "Wonderland" after it hiked up its ticket prices. Undaunted by a recent measles...
Read full storyA Message From The Rich Upper 1% To You Remaining Poor 99% Lesserlings.
Greetings, We, the 1% of this nation and others in this world that truly control what goes on inside our societies have taken the time to write to you little people who make up the other 99% of the citizenry. You should be thankful. We rarely take...
Read full storyCanadian claims disability allowance after sprouting antlers
Toronto, Canada - An otherwise healthy 30-something male is claiming state disability handouts after waking one morning to find that he'd grown a pair of antlers on his head. Harley Broomsdork said the 18-inch, Monarch-of-the-Glen-style protrubera...
Read full storyVladimir Putin Announces Boris Nemtsov Committed Suicide
After a lengthy ten hour investigation pursuing thousands of clues, tips and accusations, Russia's Prime Minister Vladimir Putin announced that the former Deputy Prime Minister under Boris Yeltsin, Boris Nemtsov, committed suicide by shooting himself...
Read full storyNewsCorpse rehires Rebekah Brooks
New York - Flame-haired uber-queen Rebekah Brooks has moved to New York in a $10m package pimping out Rupert Murdoch's new digi-acquisitions. Brooks, 69, famously survived a criminal prosecution at London's Old Bailey in a lawsuit that jailed her...
Read full storyPope Insists Priests Refrain from Cunnilingus
The Pope sent an IM to his top American Priests today telling them to desist immeddiately from any sex that would put them at risk from HPV Virus He said: "in recent years scientists have documented a steep rise in throat cancers caused by a strai...
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