
Barack Obama moves to enact fart tax to cut US methane emissions by half
WASHINGTON, DC - President Barack Obama will unveil a plan to tax flatulent-producing foods in order to cut methane emissions from Americans during his remaining two years in the White House. The new "fart tax" - which will be formally unveiled on...
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Cool Ant Leaks From International Space Station, Major Evacuation Under Way
The Cosmos - Space paleoentomologists (WTF dat? 'Ed') at NASA's insect fossil cloning division are studying reports that a species of glacier ant indigenous to comets has gummed up the works in the International Space Station. Close-ups of a colon...
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Johnny Depp: Forgotten American Accent
Hollywood, CA - After being asked why he no longer does any films where he portrays an American, the Kentucky native replied that he "has forgotten how to speak with an American accent." After the success of the box-office juggernaut film serie...
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'Je Suis Frostie' Movement Burgeons After Muslim Cleric Bans Snowmen
Boston-Families throughout New England yesterday defiantly posted "Je Suis Frostie" signs in their windows and on the snowmen in their front and back yards, following an anti-snowman fatwah issued by a Saudi Arabian imam, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Mun...
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