British army chiefs announce new Hide 'N' Sikh regiment ops
London - The British Chief of the General Stuff said today the new elite fighting corps(e) will be deployed 'as bait' on stealth missions in the upcoming Game of Sardines against Jihadi scum. Troops disguised in Ali Baba costumes will root around...
Read full storyLook like Jordan burnt to a crisp under a sunbed, is it really worth it?
CIA HQ under a tanning bed in a wellness hotel somewhere in a posh part of London has just sent this life threatening report! Jaggedone's CIA star lifestyle reporter, Shaggy Daddy-Brownlegs, has crawled out of the gutter into a very posh wellness hotel and brown, white Caucasian x-treme tanner, Laura May McMullan, told him, whilst lying under the sun yet again, the following story. Well it a...
Read full storyPope sells Lent to the Scamatologists for $69 billion
The Vatican -- The Roman Catholic Church has given up Lent. In an unprecedented financial maneuver, Pope Francis has turned over the 40 day, 40 night period of atonement to the Church of Scamatology. The sale price was $69 billion. That buys the...
Read full storyHealth officials warn "Toblerone in a fridge" is a lethal weapon
Top health officials have issued a warning to people not to put Toblerones in a fridge. They state that when the triangular chocolate bar becomes cold and hard it can become a "lethal weapon capable of damaging members of the public and even buildin...
Read full storyQueen caught sneaking out of the Palace and pretending to be a homeless person again
Members of the royal family and local security picked up the Queen yesterday after she went missing from Buckingham Palace. Palace guards reported her gone at lunch time shortly after Sunday mass. Prince Charles and Camilla then drove round the...
Read full storyOscar Salad by Ann Tone
Red faces were very much in vogue in Hollywood after last nights Oscars. A delivery person, carrying a long wooden tray of salad ingredients was sent by security staff to the front entrance of the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood, instead of the servan...
Read full storyRolf Harris Stripped in Jail
Disgraced Australian celebrity Rolf Harris had his various awards stripped from him while he is in jail. The extensive collection of plaudits conferred on Harris by the Oz government were all rescinded yesterday. Speaking to one of our reporters v...
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