Actress Helen Mirren banned from Palace after 'aliens' jibe
Los Angeles - Official: all traces of Martian DNA have been expunged from the royal genome after film star Helen Mirren blew the gaff on Queen Elizardbirth's alien origins. Mirren, who famously played Queenie in an instantly forgettable Hollywood...
Read full storyThis Valentine's Day, Dems Want You to Give the Gift of Obamacare Instead
WASHINGTON D.C.- Forget candy and flowers, they've been done to death for Valentine's Day. This year, show your love by forcing your special someone to sign up for something they probably don't want - Obamacare! Who wouldn't want to be surprised with...
Read full storyDuke Of Edinburgh Latest Faux Pas - "Greek Economy Is All Greek To Me"
Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh speaking at the opening of a new Greek themed hypermarket, caused much amusement yesterday, when he pulled out what appeared to be a crumpled script from his pocket and read out the following list, apparently not real...
Read full storyDisgusting Yoga Pants to be banned from the Streets of London!
Oxford Street, London, CIA HQ, down the sewer sends this latest fashion mind-blowing report! Jaggedone's CIA star fashion reporter, GayGordon Voyeur-Buttockbouncer, has just sent this shocking fashion newsflash from the top of a manhole in Oxford...
Read full storyCameron comes up with yet another moronic policy!
CIA HQ in 10 Downing Street (Yes we have our reporters there too, the golden bogs are filthy!) reports! CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star political reporter, Cederic Upyourarse-Thraithwaite, reporting from below a bog seat and looking up Cameron's arse has just sent this mind-blowing report (If Cameron farts it really will be mind-blowing!) Brit PM, David Cameron, divulging his latest g...
Read full storyGive up Fox News for Lent? No, never! Not this Troglodyte!
My priest, Monsignor Felix Fyodore Ayonsokopsosky, told me I should give up Fox News for Lent. "You have been acting very strange lately, my son. You need to quit watching Fox News. You look terrible. You smell worse than terrible. You've become paranoid schizophrenic. It's made you a cave dweller," Monsignor Ayonsokopsosky told me after confession. "But Father Ayonsokopsosky, Fox News has b...
Read full storyControversial FEMA plan meets stiff constitutional resistance
(Washington, D.C.) Ahead of a blizzard expected to cripple the northeast, President Obama today signed a sweeping Executive Order that his critics say is a brazen attempt to consolidate more unfettered power into his hands. The President granted unpr...
Read full storyVice-President Bidet explains away "butt buddy" gaffe
Speaking to a crowd in Iowa, U. S. Vice-president-in-Charge-of-Vice Joe Bidet outed himself as a "recovering homosexual" today. Before an audience of ten or fifteen supporters, Bidet gave a shout out to an old friend, calling, "Neal Smith, old but...
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