Ken Hamm to Teach a Geology Class at Bob Jones University
GREENVILLE, SC--Dr. Stephen Jones, president of Bob Jones University, announced today that the controversial college (which only allowed interracial dating beginning in 2000), would now enter the nineteenth century and allow the teaching of Geology a...
Read full storyMany in U.S. Believe Mental Illness Caused By Demons
Science's goal is to create reasonable explanations (theories) to describe reality - theories that rely, not on feelings or passions, but on evidence. Yet substantial portions of the American people reject scientific conclusions. In the fields of p...
Read full storyCrack Dealers To Give Away Rest of Stock and Go On Unemployment
Crack dealers have probably been hit hardest in the recent recession. That, and the proliferation of cheap pharmaceuticals on the Internet. "We can't give this stuff away anymore. People just aren't into smoking crack anymore. Why go to all the...
Read full storyTybee Judge Overturns Monoply Board
A Tybee Judge has overtunred his families monopoly board Monday, effectively ending a night of wholesome family fun. The judge, Steven Scheer, has never overturned anything before in his life - which makes the incident even more remarkable. T...
Read full storyWealthy Man replaces his Sexist and Racist Thoughts with Clones to silence Critics
Dateline: NEW YORK--Tired of being accused of having stereotypical ideas of women and racial minorities, the gazillionaire Roderick Billington set about spending his vast fortune to perfect his conceptions. "I realized the essence of the problem...
Read full storyStudy shows Men secretly Resent Women's Phatness
Dateline: NEW YORK--Islamic states are infamous in the West for forcing women to wear burqas, since those outer garments obscure the shape of women's bodies and are thus odious from a feminist standpoint. Defenders of the sexist laws typically resort...
Read full storyTybee Island Not Heard From For 72 Hours
Georgia - Neighboring towns are growing increasingly worried about Tybee Island - after not hearing from the dufus invested beach town for 72 hours. "Tybee Island tends to keep to itself," a visibly concerned resident of Savannah said, "but two d...
Read full storyLatest Eco-friendly Car the Yabbadabba Not So Friendly To Drivers
Detroitstone - The latest entry into the 'green' or 'eco-friendly' automobile market is proving to be not so friendly to drivers. The Yabbadabba is the first vehicle introduced by Granitestone Motors. Granitestone was founded and primarily funded by...
Read full storyBetty White, Joan Rivers and Larry King Neck and Neck In Office Death Pool
Things are hotting up in a South Florida offices' 'death pool' after new member of staff, Kevin Ball wagered $200 on former Golden Girl Betty White to pip current favorites Joan Rivers and Larry King to the grave. "I feel good about Betty's prosp...
Read full storyRight On Your Money
A young mum in East London is on the verge of losing "several thousand pounds" that had been pushed through her door on Christmas Eve. It was a surprise because normally in that area of London it's dog shit rather than twenty pound notes. The lady (w...
Read full storyPolitical Tourette's Syndrome Disorder
Clinical psychologists, looking into increasingly widespread dysfunction in the United States Congress, are suggesting an addendum to the DSM (Diagnostics and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) to describe what they are calling Political Tourette's Syndrome Disorder. As an example, they cite Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Cal.) who, in response to a report of moderate job increases in the previous q...
Read full storyObama Reviews Death Penalty
Back and to the Lefts News understands that Barack Obama has ordered a review into execution practices within the US prison system. An unnamed state has applied for permission to change it's execution technique from lethal injection to "Dropping The...
Read full story1D Avoid Million Pound Claim From Fan's Mother!
The boy-band One Direction have avoided a multimillion pound claim put against them because of the effectiveness of their wet-floor 'sign guys.' Thousands of One Direction fans packed into the 02 Arena last night, during which a 14-year-old girl w...
Read full storyFat People On Tories Hit List
Companies such as Jacamo and Simply Be are being forced by the government to cover their products in deodorants that smell of sweat, urine and untreated diabetic infections to ensure the public's perception of fat people doesn't change. With those...
Read full storyCurling Coverage Has Led To Russian Employment Increase In The UK
The employment of Russian females in the UK has spiked drastically over the past 2 months due to the BBC's extensive coverage of the Winter Olympics and the overall attractiveness of the women's Russian curling team. According to various sources...
Read full storyBen & Berry's announces two new flavors: Defecake (Shit Pie) and Boooger Bonanza!
In an early morning press conference today, a spokesman for Ben & Berry's Ice Cream announced two new flavors of ice cream that will be on store shelves this coming month. The two new flavors are Defecake aka: Shit Pie and Booger Bonanza! B...
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