Ben Affleck Under Investigation For Researching Wrong Role in Las Vegas
Las Vegas - Ben Affleck was caught 'counting cards' in Las Vegas this week and authorities are baffled as to why the actor was attempting such a feat. Apparently, Affleck was on a bender and claimed to be doing research for a role in the next Rai...
Read full storyU.S. Army Recruits Mentally Ill
Chairman Carl Levin (D-MI) and ranking member Jim Inhofe (R-OK) of Senate Armed Forces Committee got into shouting match today over Army recruiting practices at today's committee hearing. The background is that 25% of soldiers currently serving in...
Read full storyMass Emigration to Uruguay
Apparently there's hardly anybody left in crap places like Middlesbrough. We asked the Treasury department: 'Has this anything to do with the recent decision that Uruguay will provide several tonnes of dirt -cheap, legalised weed, allocating 1.5...
Read full storyRyan Giggs Sacked After Home Defeat Against Sunderland
Manchester United have sacked temporary manager Ryan Giggs after the home defeat today to Sunderland. The match ended 1-0 to the visitors. An official announcement will be made shortly. Giggs, known as Giggsy, will, like former manager Davi...
Read full story"Tony Pulis Is My Love-Child" - Paul Daniels
The miraculous escape of Crystal Palace from relegation under Tony Pulis might have something to do with his biological Father being none other than Paul Daniels. According to friends of the magician, Paul would stick his magic wand anywhere he co...
Read full storyMan who killed psychotherapist-with-meat-cleaver gets a life
New York - The sudden, unexpected death of a cleaver-wielding shrink specialising in radical Oedipus Complex solutions has freed up a patient's right to a life Upper East Side courtroom sources said today. Dr Einstein Flintstone, Emeritus Professo...
Read full storyThoughts on the Issue of Electric Vehicles: A Letter to Prospective Buyers
Dear Vehicle Consumers: Imagine this. The average temperature of the Earth rising. A gigantic piece of ice falling in the arctic causing a surge of water to splash across continents. Polar bears standing on coffee table-sized pieces of ice, looking at photographers with their best baby face impressions. These are common images used to discuss global warming. One common suggestion to relieve thi...
Read full storyLatest Godzilla Movie Features Fatter, Middle-Age Monster With Low T
Tokyo - In the latest incarnation of the Godzilla series of big-screen features, Godzilla 2014, the monster playing the fierce creature looks a little less menacing than in previous movies, and a little more out of shape. "It's true, I've let...
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