Text Message Leads To Tragedy
Mark Cooper, a 21-year-old university student from Oldham, Greater Manchester, has died after misinterpreting a text from his mother. Mark was out jogging when his mum, Susan, sent him the following message: The neighbour's pet, Ed, wants to have...
Read full storyBroken SatNav blamed as council mows down Diamond Jubilee Wood
Yorkshire - "Ay up, sounds like a right bloody omen," the head of Harrogate Parks and Gardens moaned today as national headlines reported that 100,000 tree saplings planted as part of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee had been accidentally mown down becaus...
Read full storySean Hannity: "George Zimmerman could've been me 35 years ago."
With all the controversy surrounding the verdict on the Trayvon Martin case, Sean Hannity announced today, "George Zimmerman could've been me 35 years ago." Said the voluble host from Fox News: "Hey! I grew up in the mean streets of Franklin S...
Read full storyRolling Stones Album Burning Protest Vexes Mick Jagger
Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger is said to be "horrified" after a small town in Alabama organized a "Burn Your Rolling Stones Albums" event last night in response to a request from the town's Mayor Buddy Horn, in response to what he believed...
Read full storyMan City Merry-Go-Round
New Manchester City coach Manuel Pellegrini used his first press conference to insist that he is here for the long term. "I intend to impose a certain playing style on City, through my methods and ideas we will-" Manuel was cut off as a burly a...
Read full storyJFK- Joe F**king Kinnear
"Right let's get one thing straight, I don't like you and you don't like me." Raged Newcastle's new Director of football Joe Kinnear. "You don't even know us." Back and to the Left news protested. Even by our standards this interview had started b...
Read full storyRooney To Ferriby
The most sensational transfer of 2013 has finally been given the green light. Wayne Rooney will leave thirteen time Premier League champions Manchester United for a all new challenge. North Ferriby United's new owner Sheik Hamu Abu Sabu Abu has pledg...
Read full story"Fucking" Gets Green Light from Government
The controversial means of finding gas - known as "fucking" - is being given encouragement by the Government. Vice Cable, Energy Supremo, is giving all "fucking" providers a tax refund on all their explorations and those communities allowing "fuck...
Read full storyFireworks as Trident 'third way' launched
In a surprise announcement this morning the Treasury Secretary, Danny Alexander, has disclosed a 'third option' for the austerity Trident programme. Rather than cutting the committed contracts for the boats themselves, the government will keep 3 out...
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