'Ditch The Orange Panties' new coach Connors tells Maria Sharapova
Blushing Meadows, NY - The Russian four-time Grand Slam winner has appointed her fiercest on-court sartorial critic as training coach ahead of next month's tilt at the US Open. Announcing the hiring of eight-time Grand Slam champ Jimmy Connors, 60...
Read full storyAssad bombs Krak des Chevaliers, ancient stronghold of King Richard the Lionheart
Syria - The Unesco World Heritage Site was partially destroyed by a Syrian Air Farce MiG air strike after Bashar Al Assad ordered its obliteration in partial payback for the Crusades. Erected in 1031 the citadel straddles a massive meteorite outcr...
Read full storyTexas Prohibits Pet Neutering
Austin, Tex. - On Friday, the Texas Senate passed one of the strictest anti-abortion measures in the country. Gov. Rick Perry is expected to sign the bill after a Democratic filibuster blocked its passage last month. Buried in the bill is a provision...
Read full storyRepublicans Call for "Starve Your Poor" Legislation
WASHINGTON, DC--Having had such success nationwide with the Stand Your Ground laws, Republicans in the House and Senate are now calling for passage of a law they call the "Starve Your Poor Bill." This bill, which Republicans are selling as a self-de...
Read full storySkull 'N' Bones Society accidentally publishes Obama obit
New Haven, Connecticut - The US President's obituary has appeared in a Bonesmen's online site in what excited Tea Party activists have hailed as an act of pure prescience. Yeah, right. Capitol Hill aides were quick to rubbish the posting whic...
Read full storyLocal Man Gets The Hump
TITCHFIELD - UK - Local man Martin Shuttlecock today revealed that he's really got the hump. According to sources he's apparently got the hump so badly that at one point he was considering the random use of exclamation marks. Apparently it all sta...
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