MTV Shoots Down Jersey Shore
NEW YORK CITY - After the upcoming sixth season MTVs Jersey Shore will be no more. The show about orange tanned guidos and guidettes has been cancelled effective with the last show of the current season which will air in late December. MTV spok...
Read full storyIs Lady Gaga Eating For 2?
NEW YORK CITY - When Lady Gaga sings her hit song "Born This Way" she is certainly not referring to her very obvious 11-pound weight gain which has just occurred in the past month or so. A close inside source revealed that the 26-year-old singer h...
Read full storyCeltic Players Deny Boredom Now that Rangers Have Gone
Celtic football club has vociferously denied that its players are bored of football now that Rangers have gone to play in the Nether regions of Scottish football. But an insider has tonight revealed that this is not true. Archie McTaggart, chie...
Read full storyEastwood PR Requests Patience in Responding to Requests for Invisibility
Harry Cloake, an enigmatic spokesperson for Clint Eastwood's public relations office in Sacramento, notes that since the RNC, incoming requests for invisibility have been increasing geometrically. Mr. Eastwood's heretofore unknown transformational su...
Read full storyRyan Logic Lauded by Nation's Nitwits: If Obama Time Travel Caused Pre Obama Plant Closing Could Not He Be also Responsible for Every Bad Thing in Nation's History?
Romney VP pick Paul Ryan doubled down today on lies told during his Republican Convention acceptance speech and admitted fib to Runner's World about having run a sub three hour marathon. Wowing America's ninnies, he told the Harvard debate team this...
Read full storyWhy That Wasn't A Clint Eastwood Train Wreak
Word is leaking out, in a trickle down sort of way, that it wasn't an intentional train wreak performance by actor Clint Eastwood at the Republican convention, but a secret, undercover Democratic plot, intentionally executed by a closet Democrat, and successfully carried out to sabotage the Romney candidacy. No way! Did anyone notice: Nobody is talking about Romney's speech? But everyone is...
Read full storyAwesome flashlights in Phoenix
Another suspicious flashlight was found Wednesday night, this time outside of Phoenix Police Department headquarters. Authorities said the flashlight was turned on and lying in the middle of 7th Avenue and Washington. Police eventually determined...
Read full storyEastwood comment revealed
It was disclosed this morning in the Milwaukee Star Recorder, that recent star of the Republican Convention, actor Clint Eastwood revealed to his fellow residents at the swank Carmel-by-the-Sea Nursing Home that his "chair" stunt was in fact an accid...
Read full storyElevated revelations - a tale of ups and downs
I was stuck in an elevator with two women. From nowhere an odious smell crept up my hooter. One of the women, a middle aged type with horned rimmed glasses looked at me with disgust. Not wanting to cause a fuss I kept my mouth shut and carried on looking at the ceiling hoping the smell would dissipate and the Engineer would rescue me from this mechanical prison cell. However, the smell became...
Read full storyDaleks Reveal That They Never Really Liked Instant Mash
A prominent Dalek today revealed that, contrary to popular belief, the daleks never really harboured a passion for instant mashed potato. "It's all a myth mate," red dalek Timothy explained. "There was an ad on the telly years ago for instant mash...
Read full storyForbes Magazine Finds Theo Epstein Guilty as Charged
Forbes Magazine only deals with sports business when the price exceeds $250,000,000.00. Otherwise, it is a true condescending reach downward to the sporting life where penny stock brokers live and die. The Red Sox recent budget cutting has caught...
Read full storyNibbles - A short gruesome play on cannibalism
Act One Mitchum Mr. Thwaite? Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite Yeah…What is it? Mitchum You OK, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite I ain't bloody dead yet, mate. Mitchum I wasn't suggesting that… Thwaite Oh, I'm sure you weren't, mate. However, your verbal demeanor had a bit of anticipatory delight there. Mitchum How's that, Mr. Thwaite? Thwaite You were hoping that I cashed in and you co...
Read full storyRed Sox Set in the West
Cue the final curtain. The end is not near; it happened last night. The undertaker measured the Red Sox for a shroud. The Red Sox lost 20-2. No, that's the score, not the year. The Asteroid hit the Red Sox while playing the metric money...
Read full storyPaul Ryan Says He Wants The Media To Stop Calling Him "Lyin' Ryan"
TAMPA - GOPicky Magazine reported that the GOP vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan is extremely upset. He pointed out that it was due to the rumors he heard at the Republican National Convention that some of Mitt Romney's closest aides were sugg...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Tells Clint Eastwood Not To Quit His Day Job
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - George Clooney said that he and his alluringly gorgeous girlfriend Stacy Keibler watched Clint Eastwood make his speech at the Republican National Convention in Tampa. Clooney stated to Tittle Tattle Tonight that he and Stacy had...
Read full storyScientists discover sugar in the Milky Way
Washington - Dr. P. Knut of the International Space Station has discovered a star in the Milky Way surrounded by sugar. The sugar was detected using sensitive instruments that can tell the molecular structure and composition of tiny hunks of sugar l...
Read full story"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" Beats Out The Republican National Convention
LOS ANGELES - The TLC Network is as happy as a ostrich in soft dirt after their hit reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo beat out every one of the four major networks plus CNN which was showing the Republican National Convention. The reality show...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Officially Dumps Randy "The Dawg" Jackson
HOLLYWOOD - After months of speculation, innuendo, and double entendres, it is now official that Randy "The Dawg" Jackson will no longer be a judge on American Idol. Jackson who had been with the music reality show since the very beginning was tol...
Read full story