Secretary of State John Kerry: C'Mon man! You must be kidding!
Why should Senator John Kerry be appointed Secretary of State? When he made his run for the presidency against Dubya it was pointed out that if Kerry were to be elected president, America would be just one nut away from having a chipmunk (John Edwards) in the White House. While BILLINGSGATE does not wish to offend members of the genera Tamias and Eutamias species, it is not only Dr. B who has not...
Read full storyGoogle add flooding to their navigation maps
Google Maps were already brilliant, with satellite, topography, live traffic updates, street view and navigation. In wet, wet Britain, Google have unveiled another useful addition, flooding. "We've all seen the news," said Jeeves Bing, head of res...
Read full storyBloomberg Confuses Gun Rights With Gay Rights & Blows His Brains Out
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg was released from Bellevue Hospital today after being treated for what's being called "a firearm mishap." It appears that the mayor mistook a pistol for a penis and discharged the gun into his cranium. Who will...
Read full storyOrdinary People: Boston Celtics Need Pachelbel's Canon in D
The Boston Celtics are becoming a version of the old family tale, Ordinary People. You may not have cued the music for Pachelbel's Canon in D, but the Celtics seem to need a conductor for 'D' this season. In Robert Redford's old movie, the film...
Read full storyNew family movie "Whore" is rated R
Walt Disney Studios has released its new movie "WHORE" and kids are not allowed to watch it. The movie has a lot of dirty and uncensored scenes. The show also contains a lot of bad words and racist language. Apparently the Disney official movie p...
Read full storyFalklands to be renamed "Nyah nyah ne-nyah nyah Islands"
Despite mounting anger from Argentina, after a part of Antartica was named after the Queen this week, it has been reported that the Falklands are to be renamed the "Nyah nyah ne-nyah nyah Islands". The UK ambassador to Argentina was summoned on Fr...
Read full storyChannel 5 Greenlights New Reality Shows for 2013
Channel 5 has today announced a new series of reality programmes to try and help boost it's ratings. Speaking from 5's head offices in Lower Frottage, head of programming Boisterous Crotch said "While our viewers will still see their favourite sh...
Read full storyJohn Mayer To Break Up With Katy Perry?
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Well it appears that the word on the streets of West Holly, as former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger refers to it, is that John "The Player" Mayer, 34, will soon be dumping 28-year-old Katy Perry. The couple who have la...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Finally Files For Divorce From Demi "The Cougar" Moore
MARINA DEL REY - After waiting and hoping that his wife would make the first move and file for divorce, Ashton Kutcher, 34, has gone ahead and filed for divorce from Demi Moore, 50, after waiting patiently for one whole year. The star of Two and A...
Read full storyMan sues himself for being ugly
Milan, Italy-an Italian man, Terrano Boorge wants to sue himself for being so ugly. On January 11, he plans to take himself to court by force and hire a lawyer. He stated that everyday he falls sick when he looks into the mirror and sometimes fai...
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