Dubya's Paraguay gas field bombs
Chaco, Paraguay - Ownership deeds to almost 100,000 gas-rich acres purchased by George W Bush as part of a retirement nest egg have been scrambled by Paraguay Justice Ministry officials after a lengthy land grab fraud probe. The former US Presiden...
Read full storyAusterity measures for the Tooth Fairy
Before decimalisation in the 1970s, it was common for a bob to be left under a pillow in exchange for a tooth. After decimalisation, a bob became ten pence. This state of affairs lasted until the affluent eighties when teeth doubled in value, out pac...
Read full storyMy life as a man #37
Another day, another opportunity to fall on my ass! A gal I've known since grade school called me this afternoon to ask if I'd like to get together for lunch tomorrow, to talk about the old days.... OK, before I begin, if you've not read any of my other stories, you may be unaware that no woman I have ever known EVER calls me to ask me to go to lunch, to talk about old times with her, or any...
Read full storyDrunk Santa explodes at VFW Hall in Iowa
COWPATH, Iowa (ABSNN) - An "apparently" booze filled, 87-year-old WWII veteran playing Santa, exploded Sunday afternoon, killing himself, and injuring 27 men and women who were waiting in line to have their pictures taken in his lap. According to on...
Read full storyScottish FA To Consider Removing Saltire From Jerseys
After the Grampian Fire and Rescue Service (GFRS) chiefs removed Saltires from the grill of two fire appliances following complaints that they were offensive, Scottish football bosses are set to consider taking a similar stance with the national team...
Read full storyWhite Cliffs of Dover To Be Repainted!
For the first time in over fifty years England's famous White Cliffs of Dover are to be repainted. Matt white was used when the cliffs were last given a fresh lick of paint, as part of the 1951 Festival of Britain celebrations, but this time, just fo...
Read full storyNew Bond a big surprise
Hollywood, Los Angeles. In slowly emerging but nevertheless breaking news here, former English Test cricketer, John Emburey, has been revealed as the next portrayer of master spy James Bond in the Ian Fleming film adaptations from 2015. Emburey, w...
Read full storyHiawatha Cherington Keeps Money in the Banks of Gitche Gumee
Red Sox GM Ben Cherington did not do himself or the fans any favors with his latest in-depth interview with Boston's ravenous media. Having been denied both red meat about the Red Sox and cream puffs to toss around, the media asked Mr. Cherington...
Read full storyHugh Hefner, 86, Says He Thinks He's Getting Married
HOLMBY HILLS, California - The Playboy Mansion will soon have a happily married woman residing as its "First Lady." Hugh Hefner, the 86-year-old Playboy Empire mogul has just announced that the wedding between him and Playboy bunny, Crystal Harris...
Read full storyKim Kardashian wows the crowd in Bahrain! Malt shop burns tho
MANAMA, Bahrain (ABSNN) - Riot police were forced to fire tear gas canisters at hardline Islamic protesters who were angered at the presence in the city of Kim Kardashian. "God is great; Kim's a slut," the crowd shouted in Arabic. Kardashian, who j...
Read full storyKim Jong Un wins annual Worlds Sexiest Kim Award
North Korean leader Kim John-Un was celebrating today after being named Worlds Sexiest Kim today by MNKTV music channel. He narrowly pipped sex tape star Kim Kardashian who gained only one vote - from her pop star boyfriend Kanye West. The governm...
Read full storyRafa Benitez contract as Chelsea boss cancelled
Chelsea owner Roman Abramovitch moved fast this afternoon to bring the 3 match, 11 day Rafa Benitez love affair with the Chelsea fans to an end. Following a shock 3-1 defeat to West Ham United in East London, the Russian ugly - sorry oligarch - as...
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