Karl Rove Seen Begging On Street Corners With A Cardboard Sign - "Will Smear Someone for Food"
Little has been seen of Karl Rove, the Republican Wunderkind of underhanded politics, since his horrendous humiliation due to Obama winning the Presidential election- until now. Witness's claim to have seen him at various street corners around Washin...
Read full storyImpossible Success Leaves to Arthur Depression
James Arthur died of depression yesterday despite having the most successful winner's single so far.James Arthur has recently seen his debut single 'Impossible' break a dozen of records such as 'most glum song of the year'. In a poll conducted by...
Read full storyLady Gaga Denies She'll Be Appearing In PlayMale Magazine
CHICAGO - Last year Lady Gaga was approached by PlayMale Men's Magazine about appearing in a nude layout with a Halloween theme. She turned it down saying that she did not want to be associated with Jack-O-Lanterns and ugly old witches. A repre...
Read full storyPope Tweets About Extended Vacation Beginning 20 December 2012 Fueling Rumors That He "Knows Something"
Anxious twitter users who follow the Pope were today frantically re-tweeting his latest tweet in which the Pontiff declared "Won't be around much next week, heading for a nice getaway next Thursday, touch wood will be back tweeting Saturday....."...
Read full storyCelebrity Kidnap Plot Foiled
A gang in America has been arrested after plotting to kidnap Justin Bieber and castrate him, thus saving the future world from thousands of "Bieber Baby's" polluting TV with endless reality shows about living in their dad's shadow. Unfortunately the gang involved in the ambitious plot had the combined brain capacity of a bottle of mulled wine and were caught before they could even get in the s...
Read full storyPentagon hacker's mother demands official Presidential pardon 'and grovelling apology'
Washington - There is growing disgust at the Pentagon this weekend after the mother of a Brit computer hacker who caused millions of dollars of damage to US military computer systems demanded an official pardon from President Obama 'and a grovelling...
Read full storyMonkey Found in Ikea Parking Lot Is Toronto Entrepreneur
This was monkey business, with a capital B. Turns out Darwin (yep, that's the monkey's name), who was wearing a shearling coat as he roamed the parking lot, was doing some modeling for his clothing business, which -- you guessed it -- manufactur...
Read full storyArmageddinouttahere! Wiccans rubbish Mayan calendar prophecy exodus
Stonehenge, Wilts - A British coven based near the prehysteric monument of Stonehenge has tipped off the press about the government's Doomsday plans for members of the Cabinet and the royal family. "They're all legging it to a nuke-proof 'austeri...
Read full storyRise in bees turning girls off university
More and more girls are avoiding universities because of the increase in bees observed in academia. Female school-leavers are now 50 per cent less likely than males to end up at university. Many girls really hate bees, and the thought of being...
Read full storyString Theory Disproved
String Theory, the idea that the whole universe is held together by an enormous amount of extremely small pieces of string, has been disproved according to a scientist doing research in the Thai capital of Bangkok. Moys Kenwood, 49, has told frien...
Read full storySarah Palin's Son Track Files For Divorce
WASILLA, Alaska - Well after being married for a year and a half Sarah Palin's son Track Palin, 23, has decided to end his marriage to Britta Hanson-Palin, 22. The couple was married in May of 2011, and in August of that year, "Blondie" as Britta...
Read full storyX-Factor Shocker: Emblem 3 Is Eliminated
HOLLYWOOD - Simon Cowell, the music mogul with the golden touch really and truly believed that his boy group Emblem 3, was going to be the 2012 X-Factor winner. But he received the shock of his life when they were eliminated on the semi-finals res...
Read full storyKobe Bryant Begs Magic Johnson For Advice
LOS ANGELES - This past summer, on paper at least, the Los Angeles Lakers were supposed to have been sitting at 22-0 right now, but instead they hold a below .500 record of 9-13. And Kobe Bean Bryant, the star of the Lakers, and according to him,...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Says She's Too Pretty To Go To Prison
LOS ANGELES - The troubled sand grains are flowing faster through Lindsay Lohan's hour glass than M&Ms out of the package to Kirstie Alley's mouth. The little celebutante has finally gotten to the point where she has used up her entire allotme...
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