Pentagon Releases Names of Guantanamo Inmates
The Pentagon, Washington DC -- Finally after several years of delays, the US military complied with the government's demands and submitted a list of the inmates being held at the military jail at Guantanamo in Cuba. Although the list was deliver...Read full story
New Videotape Shows Mascot Hostages Alive - Ronald McDonald Missing
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Arab television yesterday broadcast a new videotape Tuesday showing three of the four American corporate mascots, Fido Dido, Uncle Ben and the Energiser Bunny who were taken hostage in Iraq last year. However, the fourth - Ronald McDo...Read full story
Soprano-Corleone Mob Wars Claim More Lives.
Anthony Soprano Jr., son of alleged Mafia boss Tony Soprano, was found dead last night, outside his family's home. There has been no official word yet on the cause of death, so natural causes cannot be ruled out, but some witnesses reported seeing a...Read full story
Jon Stewart's "America" Not Real Civics Textbook.
A high school civics teacher from upstate New York has announced that he will no longer be using Jon Stewart's "America (The Book)" as a primary textbook for students.Read full story
Reporter Curiously Unable to Find Disloyal Catholic for Comment.
10-year reporter Jack Miller, a well-known journalist with a solid reputation for tracking down useful quotes, was found in a state of shock and confusion this morning, claiming that he had been unable to find a disloyal Catholic to quote on a story he was doing about a church closing in the Archdiocese of Boston. “I just don’t get it” Miller is reported to have said. “Every time anything...Read full story
Democrats Respond to Republican Attacks over Race, Secession.
In a statement released Sunday, former Vermont governor Howard Dean, current chairman of the Democratic National Committee, responded to Republican New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's pointed comments of March 3d. In the statement, Dean not only answe...Read full story
Academy Declares Rest of Nation "Out of Touch" with Hollywood.
As the televised awards ceremony nicknamed the "Oscars" ended, Jon Stewart read a letter from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences lambasting the American people for being "out of touch" with Hollywood. Perhaps intending to use the publici...Read full story
Is President Bush Seeking Impeachment?
The world media concluded that President George W. Bush is really seeking an early way out of the White House through impeachment. He never wanted a second term. Diebold voting machines in Ohio forced it on him, giving him four more years away from C...Read full story