Terrorists Spare Virgin Air
Due to religious principles, (yes, those criminal thugs have a self-serving one) and not wishing to get into a negative relationship with the seventy-two virgins waiting for each in heaven, terrorist have decided not to target Virgin Air with suicide...
Read full storyDHS Publishes New Survival Guidelines
This afternoon, in an attempt to prepare our citizens to meet the latest challenges on the war on terror, Homeland Security chief Michael Chertoff met with journalists at Pinal Air base near Tucson, AZ. In a 10 minute briefing, Secretary Chertoff out...
Read full storyCIA grass admits Nazi past
Berlin, Germany - (Ass-o-CIA-ted Messerschmitt): Award winning German writer Gone To-grass has admitted he was a member of the Waffen-SS during World War II and helped the CIA plant dud classified information about Prescott Bush, the Bush dynasty p...
Read full storyBush Launches Campaign to Bomb Britain
Noting that Britain is becoming a "Haven for Al-Queda", George Bush announced, "Our War on Terror must continue", and began preparation for an intensive bombing campaign of the British Isles. The campaign will be modeled after his successful bombing...
Read full story'Inbreeding' is behind rise in cases of diabetes, claims MP
An MP has caused outrage by suggesting that high rates of diabetes in his Norfolk constituency, which has seen a growing number of cases among children, could be the result of residents' inbreeding. Ian Gibson, a former chairman of the Commons Sc…
Read full storyFDA Certifies Aspartame as Ant Poison
WASHINGTON (AP)-The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has certified the popular sweetener aspartame as an ant poison. "Aspartame was originally developed as an ant poison and it was only changed to being non-poisonous after it was realized tha...
Read full storyToddlers Sprung from Shopping Carts; Havoc Ensues
The American Academy of Pediatrics has recently warned parents about the dangers involved in putting children in shopping carts, citing the statistic that shopping carts were involved in injuries to more than 24,000 children last year. As a result,...
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