A Weary Michael Jackson Spills All
Santa Maria, Calif. - Michael Jackson, clearly at his wits end, collapsed into a shrieking, sobbing bundle of tremblingly hurt humanity earlier today as the wall he built between himself and the truth suddenly crumbled.
Read full storyLance Armstrong changes carriers
(AP, Anonymous Press)- New York- Reports spread wide as a person matching Lance Armstrong's description, right down to the jersey and bicycle, has been seen couriering packages all over Manhattan. Though Armstrong's personal assistant could n...
Read full storyDon't Try This at Home
Many years ago when I was young and single I would go out with some friends each Friday night and drink. We were a mix of ages from early twenties to late thirties, some married, some not, generally skilled blue collar workers and all male. We would gravitate towards pubs with live music; preferably loud rock and when the pubs closed we would maybe go to a club or back to someone’s place a...
Read full storyRoyal wedding moved again
In what many will view as a shocking development, the Prince of Wales wedding to Camilla Parker Bowles has been rescheduled again and the venue has also been changed. Originally planned to occur at the Guildhall in Windsor on Friday, April 8th, and...
Read full storyCurse of Diana Act 9/11, Scene 43: Wedding off as Pretender attends father's funeral
Clarence House, London Monday 4 April - (Mess Association) This week's Royal Wedding has been cancelled according to a statement issued today in London on behalf of Prince Charles, Pretender to the Throne of Great Britain.
Read full storyWallace and Gromit kidnapped by North Korean agents
London-From 10 Downing Street Mr. Blair announced today the kidnapping of two of Britain's most important Boffins. "It is with a heavy heart that I must tell the British people today-Wallace and Gromit have gone missing. The Government fears the wo...
Read full storyPresident Bush Adopts Papal Doctrine
In an effort to garner support with Catholic voters and cash in on all the free "papist hoopla" surrounding the death of Pope John Paul II, President Bush has announced that his government intends to adopt the papal doctrine, "Neca e...
Read full storyFBI to Track Down Students with ‘bad taste in music'
The FBI Computer Crimes Unit has presented its plans to global law enforcers to prevent the illegal use of person-to-person software to distribute ‘terrible music'.
Read full storyLocal Woman Sees God Everywhere
Sandpoint, ID – Betty Schnooker, housewife and PTA Member, claims to have ‘seen God’ while watching her hamsters, Abraham and Isaac, frolicking in the woodchips. “I was going through a really rough time,” Betty said, burning insence by the hamster cage. “And then, Abraham crawled into the woodchips and fell asleep and I was like ‘oh my God…I totally see God in that! You know, that I’m pro...
Read full storyGeorge W. Bush Gives Thanks As Deaths Of Schiavo and Pope Deflect Attention From USA's Decline
President George W. Bush attended mass on the day that Roman Catholic Pope John Paul II died and quietly gave thanks to God that that the death of the Pontiff and the controversy surrounding the death of Terri Schiavo has served to deflect the Americ...
Read full storyThieves Swipe Hour From Millions of Americans
Law enforcement officials around the nation have been deluged with reports of hour theft from irate citizens. Authorities believe millions of Americans were robbed of an hour shortly after midnight on April 3. In what appears to be a meticulously pla...
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