NHL OWNERS REJECT COMPROMISE, EXPAND LOCKOUT TO PLAYERS' HOMES
The National Hockey League owners, who have locked out the players since September 15, threatening the first-ever entire cancellation of a professional sports season in North America, have rejected the players' latest compromise offer, and announced...
Read full storyNew England States Declare Independence from USA
After Senator John Kerry's slim defeat in the U.S. elections yesterday, Governors of the states of Massachusets, Maine, Pennsylvania, Vermont, Rhode Island and New Hampshire met in secret session last night (Wednesday) and this morning announced that they were declaring unilateral independence from the United States of America. Their spokeswoman issued a short press release as follows: "...
Read full storyNow Bin Laden joins Kerry in Conceding Defeat
Joining John Kerry as a victim of President Bush's seemingly unstoppable juggernaut, the world most wanted terrorist Osama bin Laden has conceded defeat in the terror war and declared that Americans ‘had spoken' over who between him and Bush, was th...
Read full storyArafat Announces Successor
As his health suffered a further setback today, Yasser Arafat announced whom he wishes to take over his role in the event of his demise.
Read full storyIcecaps Melt, Costner Redeemed
Thaw of the Arctic icecap is accelerating because of global warming but nations in the region including the United States are more concerned about a manditory apology to Kevin Costner for the universal bashing of his scifi flop, Waterworld.
Read full storyLiberals Look on Bright Side, Return to Comfortable Hypocracy
"okay okay, Bush won, we can work with this," exclaimed Tad Hamilton of the Democratic National Committee. Hamilton explained that the left can simply return to the 'comfortable' position they've held for the last four years.
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