Gillette Introduces Mach-12 Razor
NEW YORK-In retaliation to Shick's new Quattro four-bladed razor, Gillette decided to up the ante by introducing the new Mach-12. "Those guys thought they would out-do us with their puny four blades," said Gillette spokesperson Ron Garret, "but I'd l...
Read full storyBlair Bans Bonfires
Tony Blair consigned another part of the rich British culture to the dustbin of 'political correctness', when he announced that bonfire night was banned.
Read full storyWilly Wonka Accused of Sweatshop Practices
Willy Wonka, that crazy singing king of candy, was accused Wednesday of putting Oompa Loompa children to work in his famous chocolate factory and abusing them.
Read full storyPope 'A Chump' Says Dalai Lama before Big Fight
LOS ANGELES-According to reports from his corner and trainer, the Pope's ailing health will not keep him from the biggest 12-round fight of his career against the Dalai Lama. Earlier reports from the Pope's training camp indicated deteriorating healt...
Read full storyP.Diddi Set To Diddi Next Years NYC Marathon "For Da Sweat-Shop Children"
P.Diddi, ecstatic from his recent completion of the New York City Marathon, already announced plans for a possible repeat performance in next years race. "I diddied, this marathon for da children"--puffy. He sure diddi, raising an estimat...
Read full storyMarvel Gives Green Light to "Solomon Grundy" Movie
Marvel Enterprises announced today that in its desperate attempt to make a summer blockbuster out of every single comic book character they own they have decided to begin production on a "Solomon Grundy" movie.
Read full storySchumacher shopping trolley shocker!
Reigning Formula 1 World Championship holder Michael Schumacher, has been finding it hard to adjust to life after the end of the current season.
Read full storyScientists Shocked You Made It At All
"How did an idiot like you beat 25 million others to the egg?" asks stunned scientist.
Read full storyHigh School Students Protest Basic Equivalency Test
Los Angeles-At high schools around Southern California today, groups of students gathered to protest what they called the biased, racist testing known as the California High School State Exit Exam. "This test, like, if I fail it, might keep me out of...
Read full storyHomeless on Strike--Demand Better Wages, Health Benefits
Los Angeles-In lieu of the grocery strikes, thousands of homeless formed picket lines around city hall, protesting the city's refusal to meet their unions' requests in their new contract with the city.
Read full storySun Begins Puberty, Say Scientists
LONDON-In the midst of the recent solar flares to erupt on the sun's surface, scientists have been hypothesizing to find a reason for the sudden activity. After days of deliberation, Geoff Hayward, an associate professor at Oxford University, came fo...
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