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Harriet Harman Identifies Top Most Socially Destructive Melodies Systematically Imposed on Society by Late Year Faith-Focused Event: 2011 Edition

Funny story: Harriet Harman Identifies Top Most Socially Destructive Melodies Systematically Imposed on Society by Late Year Faith-Focused Event: 2011 Edition

Despite having considerably less to do than ever before, Harriet Harman has rather breathlessly published her now annual Early Winter Warning to Britons, reminding them that what seems like a melodic tribute to the slyly called 'Festive Season', is i...

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Jam Noir not recalled from holiday following death of Amy Winehouse; NOWT hacking and Rebekah blamed

Funny story: Jam Noir not recalled from holiday following death of Amy Winehouse; NOWT hacking and Rebekah blamed

Daily Post columnist and outraged upright Jam Noir will not be asked to cut short her summer holiday coach tour of Bavarian chocolate and cake factories following the death of Amy Winehouse. Said a paper editor who bravely refused to be named: "I...

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Fergie and Rebekah in 'Most Loathed Red-Head Fight' on Sky

Funny story: Fergie and Rebekah in 'Most Loathed Red-Head Fight' on Sky

Sorry, Doshless of York is set to cage battle Rebekah Brooks in a televised event aimed at determining Britain's Most Loathed Red Head. "It's bound to be an outcome that can't be predicted," boasted match organizer Simone Cowbell. "Which of the...

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'Too disruptive' Fergie and Andy denied exile in Libya

Funny story: 'Too disruptive' Fergie and Andy denied exile in Libya

Royal shock machines Sorry, Doshless of York, and Andrew, Duke of Hopeless, are set to be exiled as soon as an unsuitable country can be found to accept them. But apparently even the worst places on earth have their limits. Given her fondness f...

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Queen Considering Changing Name of Royal House to The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

Funny story: Queen Considering Changing Name of Royal House to The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

The Queen is said to be considering a spring House (of Windsor) cleaning as the Duke of York's With-Friends-Like-These scandal threatens to turn into a real toe sucker. Bad news is swamping the monarchy at a pace not seen since the Royal Divorce-Off...

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Fergie and Andy to Star in Revival of 'Grease'

Funny story: Fergie and Andy to Star in Revival of 'Grease'

Sarah, Doshless of York and Andrew, Duke of Hopeless, are to appear in the lead roles of Danny Zuko and Sandy Virginal Girl in a revival of the hit musical Grease. The pair, always on the lookout for a new opportunity yet uniquely unable to disce...

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Tea Towels to Return to Royal Wedding Kitsch List

Funny story: Tea Towels to Return to Royal Wedding Kitsch List

In a rapid about face, Buckingham Palace has announced it will launch an entire range of collectible tea towels to mark the monarchy saving wedding of Prince William and Catherine 'that's not Kate to you' Middleton. Originally, commemorative souve...

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Fire Fighters Called To Sandringham as Fergie Chimney Stunt Goes Horribly Wrong

Funny story: Fire Fighters Called To Sandringham as Fergie Chimney Stunt Goes Horribly Wrong

Royal aides are Googling for 24-hour masonry repair service in Norfolk, after Sorry, Doshless of York, had to be chipped out of a chimney at Sandringham House following a failed bid to regain entrance to the royal circle by dressing as Santa Claus.

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Holiday Stress Threatens Christmas at Sandringham

Funny story: Holiday Stress Threatens Christmas at Sandringham

Tension coloured the Royal Family's annual gathering at Sandringham today as the burden of entertaining a houseful of relations became too much for the Queen. "As usual," sighed a Lady-in-Waiting," she's tried to do too much. She was up to three...

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Hideously Ugly Kate Middleton Coin Causes Massive Devaluation of the Pound

Funny story: Hideously Ugly Kate Middleton Coin Causes Massive Devaluation of the Pound

Britain's economic woes deepened today as the value of the pound sunk beneath .13 EUR. Currency watchers lay the blame at the feet of the Mint's new Royal Wedding coin, which appears to be inspired by a police mug shot. The coin, which stops loo...

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Benny 'has no idea' about his Thought for the Day

Funny story: Benny 'has no idea' about his Thought for the Day

Global conglomerate chief executive Eggs Benedict is apparently struggling to find words to fill the air time sopped to him as presenter of BBC's Thought for the Day. "His Roly Polyness iss uncertain how best to reach za British people," said hi...

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Slappers, Cougars and Rent Boys may benefit as media doubles undercover reporting

Funny story: Slappers, Cougars and Rent Boys may benefit as media doubles undercover reporting

More reporters will go undercover more often than ever in 2011, to capitalize on the vast number of aging, fleshy men with a dollop of power and a propensity for bigging themselves up.  Editors at publications across the UK have decided the only...

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3rd Royal Betrothal as Sorry, Doshless of York Announces Engagement to Prince Andrew

Funny story: 3rd Royal Betrothal as Sorry, Doshless of York Announces Engagement to Prince Andrew

Hoping to cash in on the rash of royal engagements, Sorry, Doshless of York, has announced she is engaged to Prince Andrew, but perfectly prepared to call it off for the right price. "Well," sighed one friend of the creative Doshless, "I suppose...

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New Poll Confirms Almost Everybody Hates Their Job

Funny story: New Poll Confirms Almost Everybody Hates Their Job

A new poll confirms one of those things everybody knows but nobody talks about: call it a job, a career or a mission, most people hate it at worst and tolerate it at best. When asked, 99.714% of people agreed they if their job was a person they'...

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Palace Backs Charles as Next King

Funny story: Palace Backs Charles as Next King

Buckingham Palace has declared its support for the Prince of Wales as the next king. The revelation came after the Palace's exceptionally festive staff Christmas lunch and follows another mischievous he's-a-bit-potty story in the Daily Mail. Whi...

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Queen Counting on Travel Chaos to Deliver a Merry Christmas

Funny story: Queen Counting on Travel Chaos to Deliver a Merry Christmas

A lone, regal silhouette stares from an upstairs window at snow-swept Sandringham, the Norfolk estate where the Royal Family gathers annually for the Christmas holidays. HM the Queen keeps the vigil, dividing her gaze between her Blackberry and a...

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Queen Released from Care of Local Authority

Funny story: Queen Released from Care of Local Authority

HM the Queen is back home at Buckingham Palace tonight, wondering not for the first time how it all went so wrong. In this latest instance, HM was forced into protective care after telling people 'I don't think he looks like my father at all.'...

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Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Funny story: Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Buried under accolades for her role in the King's Speech, the actress Helena Bonham Carter has now put the actress Helen Mirren on notice that her days are over as reigning queen of actresses portraying reigning queens. "Going forward, I deserve...

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Breaking news…

Trump Names Convict With Ankle Bracelet as Chief-of-Staff

This time he wants a Chief-of-Staff that "won't get away too easy."
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