BILLINGSGATE POST - Catholic Church leaders vow to secede from Union rather than obey new decree from Devil's Handmate, President Barack Obama. Yesterday, the President's health chief, Kathleen Sebelius, decreed that the Catholic Church must provide...
New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world this morning. With a hierarchy mirro...
London - British Rocker/Rapper/and unknown other genres man Artois Armond Gordon is up in arms over a recent review and dismissal of his self proclaimed classic Envelope of Urine. Writer for The Spoof, Ellie James, reviewed Envelope of Urine for...
The Roman Catholic church has renewed its centuries-old sponsorship deal with the bread factory, countering suspicions that the Pope was cosying up to Garibaldi biscuits magnate Garry Baldy. The bread factory has enjoyed a near exclusive relations...
Vatican--Karl Rove is sick of exploiting the weak-minded with tales of how some mysterious figure is trying to take away all their rights. "I feel the horrible burden of my sins, all the lies, like Republicans care about the unborn children of po...
In response to the recent wave of scandals regarding sexual abuse by priests, the Catholic church has decided to outsource the job. "It makes perfect sense", claims Monseignor Balfour of the Archdiocese of Rome. "Every time one of the priests gets...
Boston Cardinal Sean O'Malley, not be confused with the St. Louis Cardinal left fielder Jamal 'Bubba' O'Malley from Detroit, said today after hearing explosive excerpts of Jackie Kennedy Onassis's tell all tapes, he finally understands why she stop...
An English man was arrested in the famous, Piazza del Duomo, for reading hard-core porno instead of his usual Sunday Times supplement. He was thrown into the dungeons under the Ponte Vecchio bridge amongst the rats and after several rounds of medi...
Atheist writer Christopher Hitchens has reportedly been cured of cancer after praying to Mother Teresa. Hitchens' cure, if accepted by Catholic Church authorities as miraculous, could ultimately pave the way for Mother Teresa to be canonized as a...
The Catholic Church was embroiled in another scandal today following Vatican-led criticism of the ways nuns dress. Pope Benedict believes that nuns should adapt more modern dress and has urged them to show a bit of leg in future. The Pope wants th...
Pop tart Madonna, who has reportedly ditched Kabbalah and joined Opus Dei, announced that she will star in the sequel to "There Be Dragons," a movie released this Friday about Opus Dei founder Saint Josemaria Escriva. "I have always been fascinat...
The city of Rome is braced for a major earthquake said to have been prophecized by Keith Chegwin back in 1979. In a special edition of Cheggers Goes Pop the chubby scouser is heard muttering off camera "Rome will be destroyed on the 11th May 2011...
British tabloid 'The Guardiano' is again promoting evolution by another nut, 'Tom Redford'. In an attempt to flog his latest book, the newspaper is giving him column inches to promote the propaganda of evolution, in a surprisingly frank admission of lack of evdience. The following paragraph is copied verbatim under the fair usage policy for 'educational' and critical purposes. I STRESS that thi...
Irish Catholics in Britain would have been shocked to learn that the constitutional device that keeps their co-religionists from acceding to the throne is "anti-catholic." Under the headline 'Act of Settlement Is Blatantly Anti-Catholic' UK weekly...
Police in Scotland are investigating an incident in which a letter was sent to the Celtic manager Neil Lennon. The letter, which was intercepted in west Scotland, was full of the kinds of things that you wouldn't want to read about yourself, and...
YouCat, a new book produced by the Vatican, has had to be amended after a number of errors were found. The book, which is intended to explain the catechism to a younger audience, was withdrawn just a few days after being available in Italian shops...
CLEVELAND - Sports Territory Magazine is reporting that the good sisters of St. Pistachio, who are the most dedicated basketball fans in the entire Catholic Church, are starting to get a little bit carried away with their support for the hometown NBA...
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