The following top-secret message, which was sent by Osama bin Laden to his followers, has been intercepted: It has come to our attention that Iran is sending cash to the government of Hamid Karzai in Afghanistan. We have decided to do the same because the Karzai government fits in perfectly with our plans. The goal of al Qaida is to enlist all Muslims in a worldwide jihad against the Unite...
The head of all things terrorist, Osama bin Laden, is said to be very angry because of a book written by Al Qaeda (Yemen Chapter) entitled "How to Kill Americans". In principle, he applauds their efforts, but he does have his doubts as to whether it is the wisest move at the current time. The Americans know of his exact whereabouts and could kill him at any time and indeed, the CIA have already...
MI5 and MI6, Cheltenham GCHQ: Over the past few days the Western Security Apparatus has been on very high alert after the US secret intelligence agencies controlled by the Pentagon issued warnings that al-Qaida was plotting to attack targets in the...
American Tourism Officials finally have something to cheer about. Americans are staying home and spending their hard-earned paychecks on domestic travel. Disney World, New York City, even Lester's Museum O' Rare Lobster Tails in Bangor, Maine is seei...
A warning has been received from Irish intelligence services that dozens of tourist attractions are under threat from Al-Qaeda terrorists. Abdul O'Flaherty, a seventh generation Irishman of Iranian origin (and also a kebab shop owner), is in custo...
An Al Queda influenced jihadist squirrel attempted to create maximum havoc at the University of Alaska in Fairbanks recently. Successfully penetrating the high security at an electrical substation, the fanatical rodent managed to blow out the campuse...
Kabloom, Afganistan - Al Quaeda and Taliban members have recently hit upon difficulty in getting members to believe in the alledged audio tapes of Osama Bin Ladin. The upshot is they are becoming less and less inspiring to recruits, especially the yo...
President Obama have achieved a stunning 703 points on the Liqasse benchmark, an advanced system for measuring politicians ability to bend over for all kind of ppl. -This is a historical landmark, no president has ever been close to this, says Mr.
Terrorist organisation Al Qaeda has announced that it will be making thousands of staff across the world redundant in cost-saving exercises. The organisation's CEO, Osama Bin Laden told reporters in a pre-recorded video shot in a cave that the decisi...
The use of violence as political communication by al-Qaeda, the terrorist group responsible for the September 11 attacks on the United States, is "nothing to write home about," says messaging expert Franklin Symms. The rogue band of Islamic dis...
An old, old wooden ship found buried near the World Trade Centre site in New York is on its way to Maryland to be treated and reassembled. Officials say the old, old wooden ship, reportedly named 'Diversity' was used by al qaeda, along with a seco...
PARIS - French President Nicolas "French Fries" Sarkozy has issued a statement declaring war on the nefarious, guerrilla group known as Al Qaeda. Sarkozy said that it is his understanding that AQ leaders highly insulted his wife Carla Bruni Sarkoz...
KABUL, Afghanistan - Osama Bin Laden, CEO of the radical sunni muslim organization has stated that he plans on opening up the very first Al Qaeda business office in the United States in Phoenix, Arizona. Bin Laden, says that after conferring with...
The entire Psy-ops division of the U.S. Army that has been on duty in Iraq since the wars beginning has been ordered to undergo psychiatric evaluation. Disturbing results have come about as a result of this analysis. The psy-ops, short for psycho...
TEHRAN, Iran - Senior Al Qaeda Leader Abu Musab al-Zarqaui has stated that he has the knowledge, the resources, the manpower, and the equipment to stop the oil that is spilling out into the Gulf of Mexico. Al-Zarqaui said that the reason that he i...
Security patrols in South Africa are on high alert today after UK intelligence sources claimed they had uncovered details of an al-Qaeda plot to wreak havoc and destruction at this summer's World Cup which starts on Friday. The information relates...
Al-Qaeda's number three leader, Mustafa Abu al-Yazid, has been killed, according to reports. It is the first time al-Qaeda has acknowledged such claims. It is believe he died as the result of an US drone - unconfirmed reports state that the draug...
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