Four Tennessee Volunteer basketball team players were arrested and charged with various gun and drug possession charges in Knoxville. The players, otherwise known as the Tennessee Wise Guys, were on there way to the campus to "score some season highs...
Washington Intellectual Wizards players Gilbert "Home Boy" Arenas and Javaris "Mo Fo" Crittenton had each other pinned down in the team's locker room at half time with a withering array of gang banger style 9mm and 45acp shots. Ricocheting bullets a...
Washington DC: The Anti Boobs Coalition (ABC) plans a million women march in the nation's capital, to protest against women going bare breasted. ABC has "its tits in a wringer" over those recently formed topless women's advocacy groups that claim...
San Antonio, Texas - His Most Christian Majesty, King Paul Emery Washington, Ruler of America, Protector of Canada, Lord of Mexico, Duke of Hawaii and the Pacific Isles, and Emperor of the Middle East, is alleged to be afflicted with Alzheimer's dise...
Washington, DC - Flying humanoids, ten foot tall creatures with enormous wings, have been spotted at nighttime by residents of Washington, DC. Some have taken to leaving their homes with pots and spoons in hand, banging furiously to scare the creatur...
Thomas Craig, world champion fudge packer from San Fagcisco, California, has taken a presidential appointment and will be relocating to Washington, D.C.. Craig, who will work in the White House Office of Rhetoric and Empty Promises, is excited by th...
Zombies have overrun Washington DC. They appear to be normal people, but their ridicules behavior is apparent to anyone who pays attention to politics. Their actions may be the cause of a tiny insect that has been introduced to the United States by...
Washington DC - Hollywood actor Denzil Washington is to have a city named after him in honour of his achievements as an actor. The capital city of Washington DC in the USA will be changing its name to Washington DENZIL in honour of the actor. C...
Washington DC: People for Ethical Treatment of Idiots (PETI) staged a protest outside the White House and on Capitol Hill. PETI's membership roles also include morons and fools. A PETI founder, Britney Dumbbunny, said "the organization was formed...
Former Prime Minister Margaret "Old Ironsides" Thatcher claimed that she raised her daughter Carol right:" In our home we called a frog a frog, a spade a spade and a golliwog a golliwog, by Saint George!" And such breeding came to light this week as...
Mr. Peanut had just arrived in Washington, D.C. driving his hybrid P-Nut-o-Mobile. He zoomed past The White House straight down Pennsylvania Avenue to Congress. He was scheduled to speak before the Congressional Finance Committee. While he was waiting in the wings, reporters, spotting the leguminous icon, dressed in top hat and walking cane, mobbed him. As Mr. Peanut gamely posed for photograph...
Dave Hurley, 36, thinks something big may have happened last weekend. Hurley, who rents a small studio in Dupont Circle, noticed a massive swell of people from the 17th to the 20th. "It was so weird," he recounted. "I looked out my window on Tuesd...
Today, former Chicago mafia crime boss puppet senator and new mafia puppet US President Barack Obama announced plans to move the US capital to Chicago. 'This will make it easier for the true leaders of the planet to run the US,' Obama said in his...
Viewers were stunned when they tuned into what was billed as President George W. Bush's final address. After just 30-seconds into the Thursday evening speech, the outgoing chief executive stood up, walked to the front of his Oval Office desk, yanked...
It was announced that the latest Disney theme park will be built in Washington, D.C. Washington was chosen because there is already a strong sense of living in a fantasy world there. Spokesman Goofieson stated "We feel that people in the D.C.
A new political entity was born today as all States west of the Mississippi seceded from the Union and created their own nation called The League of States That Remembers What Reality Is. Fed up with decades of following a government that only re...
Somewhere in a Washington DC smoky backroom, where Judge Retort's secret iPod was recording... Congressman: "This cigar's pretty good. Havana??" Financier: "Of course. Where else? Now about that bailout..." Congressman: "It's a lot of money. My constituents are growing restless. And those radio talk show hosts are blowing the whistle pretty loud. 750 billion..." Financier: "H...
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