Y'ALL COME BACK NOW, BELLAIRE, OHIO -- Authorities have determined they mistakenly believed a Harrison Street resident was cooking meth, and instead have found that the suspect -- a feisty old wisp of a woman with Southern roots -- was making lye soa...
Crack dealers have probably been hit hardest in the recent recession. That, and the proliferation of cheap pharmaceuticals on the Internet. "We can't give this stuff away anymore. People just aren't into smoking crack anymore. Why go to all the...
A powerful magnitude-7.2 earthquake that shook central and southern Mexico on Friday was abducted by one of the country's most dangerous drug cartels, then tortured and disemboweled, with its epicenter ending up in the swimming pool of an Acapulco ar...
Aintree ought to be buzzing with anticipation of todays Grand National, but instead there are disturbing claims that many of the entrants are hooked on recreational drugs. And we don't mean the jockeys, we mean the HORSES! Rumours of horses takin...
Inglewood, CA (Washington Post) - the Drug Abuse Resistance Eduction program, D.A.R.E. or simply DARE as it is ubiquitously known, announced today that it expects 2014 to be its most successful year ever. DARE is an educational outreach program in...
American TV Network NAC has announced plans to commission a new game show featuring Hollywood actors and actresses titled "Drug Deal or No Deal". The show will be hosted by Charlie Sheen, and will premiere on March 19, 2014, on NAC. The hour-lo...
Mexico - The cut-price narcotics discounter was apprehended by Mexican marines at the coastal town of Mazatlan in Sinaloa State this morning while trying to negotiate a new bulk purchase deal on a consignment of his fabled Chupacabra Headf**k Bud.
Whatever he was up to, an unnamed male (at present) suddenly appeared in New York McDonalds and ran into a lot of trouble. "He actually got in the back door", stated an employee that someone forgot to relock after going out back for a break. He ha...
Washington - "Stands to reason," DEA head of operations James L Capra told a Senate hearing this week, "that's what these Joint Strike drones were invented for, long distance destruction of reefers and chillums." Capra was pleading to save his ass...
New York - Cops searching the West Village home of Oscar winning actor Philip Seymour Hoffman said today a suspicious wrap of toxic heroin may have killed him after similar poisonous substances were seized in New York in as part of an online Super Bo...
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - An unemployed banana picker named Joey Caramba has just become the luckiest man in Central America. Caramba was at his home putting some trash in his garbage can. As he took off the trash can lid he noticed two blue bags wer...
County superstar Dolly Parton is no fan of Justin Bieber and thinks he makes the rednecks back in the Ozarks look like Ralph Lauren Models. "What is up with this kid and his parents?" an exasperated Parton said after a recent concert in Nashville.
Denver, Colorado - The 1953 drama has been given a modern day twist by Denver's newly formed theatrical troupe, the Pothead Players, who will perform their own take on Chandler's famous classic from Valentine's Day next month. Adapted for the stag...
The media portrays millennials as lazy little losers who won't get off the couch long enough to apply for a job. But not all millennials are disaffected, undisciplined people. Take my little Janie, for example. Janie wants a job - she just hasn't found one yet. But we think she is going to start looking one of these days. According to the media, millennials use drugs and alcohol to forget thei...
WEST HOLLYWOOD - The former husband of Katy Perry, Russell Brand says that during his life he has taken all kinds of drugs and drank all kinds of drinks. He claims that he is now drug-free as well as drink-free. He recently confided to his hairsty...
After the scandal with Sweden's Justice Minister referring to a satirical article about 37 dead of marijuana overdose in Colorado, another story has emerged. Swedish Cops are struggling to deal with side effects from a sizeable stash of cannabis t...
Massachusetts state police say they've stopped a car carrying 1,250 packets of heroin stamped "Obamacare" and "Kurt Cobain" and arrested the four people inside the car. They sometimes use numbers to show grade of Heroin but we have never seen anyt...
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