A 6 year old has trialled several new prototype police cars, one of which will potentially be picked up by Australian police departments to use in their vehicle fleets. The vehicles were fitted out with modern technology including mobile fingerpri...
Exasperated doctors are getting tough on anorexic patients in New South Wales. Physicians at Cairns General Hospital have come up with a new way of dealing with anorexic patients who refuse to eat; they themselves will become food in a new tough l...
An Australian Coroner has finally closed the case file on one of Australia's longest running murder mysteries. In the Darwin Magistrates Court today, Coroner Sheila Castlemaine-XXXX made a landmark ruling in the notorious 1980 'A Cry In The Dark'...
NEW YORK - Our mole on the UN Special Population Taxation Administration has just reported that sugar and starch are going to be slapped with a huge carbon tax. Such items will be affordable only by the wealthy, or as special treats by the middle cl...
HOLLYWOOD - It has been three years since Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski last reprised their roles of Crocodile Dundee and his girlfriend of 26 years Sue Charlton in the motion picture Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years. Hogan recently sp...
Well people 2011 is well and truly gone. We're finally free of a totally screwed up year of earthquakes, tsunamis, giant gyrations on the stock market and the usual Dr. Evil buggery from both the Climate believers and deniers. The Chinese say that 2012 is gonna be the year of the 'Dragon'. I Les Patterson Junior, number one son to the greatest Australian since Errol Flynn would disagree polite...
Canberra, Australia - Add Australia to the growing list of countries that are claiming the Arctic sea bed as a part of their national territory. Most of the countries that previously claimed that the Arctic was theirs, however, are in proximity to...
A 4-year-old shark has suffered serious injuries to its back and tail fin in Australia's tenth surfer attack this month. Australia normally has about 15 surfer attacks per year - some of them fatal. But there already have been 10 attacks this...
Queensland, Australia - Detectives from Worra-Palarver township in northern Queensland were today racking their brains as they desperately attempted to unravel the sequence of events which resulted in the horrible deaths of seventeen people - fifteen...
Fatima Whitbread is being tipped to win I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here by an Australian bookie. "The Aborigine is the only fair dinkum bloke left in the programme since the scouser Freddie Starr chucked a sickie", claimed Crocodile Ocker.
Prime Minister David Cameron's poor attempt at an Australian accent has caused outrage Down Under. Mr Cameron attempted to imitate Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard during a speech at the Lord Mayor'a banquet in London. He told guests tha...
Comedian Freddie Starr was dramatically rushed to hospital yesterday after eating Fatima Whitbread's testicles on I'm A Donut Get Me Out Of Here. The pot-bellied scouser suffered an allergic reaction to the Bushtucker Trial but dismissed reports t...
Washington - International Space Station monitoring programs have detected pesky Iranian submarines attempting to nuke Chevron's Gorgon and Wheatstone gas fields off the Western Australian coast. Initial reports said the subs 'were camouflaged wit...
Australia has launched a full scale naval invasion of New Zealand across the Tasman Sea. First reports of the invasion have been reported by coastal New Zealand communities. The Tweetosphere was bombarded by updates like the following from @beache...
Twitchers across the world are migrating to Australia since the news spread across Twitter that a pair of rare Newcastle Tits have been sighted in Melbourne. "I've seen most varieties of tit," said the heavily bearded Bill Oddie, an avid bird-watc...
The Queen and Prince Philip have ended their royal visit to Australia and are on their way back to England so that they won't miss out on this years Halloween celebrations on Monday evening (31 October) in the woods near Windsor Castle. Originall...
Her Maj the Queen this morning opened the Commonwealth Heads of Government Conference (CHOGM) in Perth, Western Australia. Here are the key excerpts from her opening speech: Ewwwww, hellewwww, my name is Elizabeth, Queen of England, and what's left of one's great aunt Victoria's once massive empire. One hopes you appreciate the effort Philip and I have made to come to Australia. It's a frigh...
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