The pigs became the conscience of the other animals and were led by Snowball Brown and David Napoleon along with a sycophant Nick Squealer who urged the other animals to embrace the new Tenets of Animalism with his eloquent grasp of voice while hiding his personal agenda. Catch up: Part 1 Their rise to power was made possible from the reflective and philosophical Old Major Blair whose prema...
The simplicity and blessed routine of the family farm took a hideous turn outside of Edinburgh when details emerged of an incredible event giving new meaning to hostile takeover. The end result was that a Donkey by the name of Benjamin Orwell Falkes was euthanized in response to a rampage that left a menagerie of dead beasties in its wake. The harsh reaction and quick manner of his disposition...
A farmer's wife living in Devon, was arrested this morning for cruelty to animals. It is reported that she was upset at being chased around her kitchen by 3 blind mice. Being blind their sense of smell was heightened and they were able to locate...
The government is set to extend its proposals to force dog owners to insure their pets, with another scheme to cover all dangerous animals. The list will include hamsters that bite, garrulous budgies with too much to say for themselves, goldfish with...
A 13 year old boy was attacked in the bathroom of a local D.C. zoo by an aged and disoriented cougar. The boy, his identity is being withheld to protect him from Barney Frank, is in good condition but the same can not be said for Nancy Pelosi. "Oh...
Gophers, those pesky lawn demolishers, are turning up in unexpected places. And they don't look right. Biologist Dr. Harvey Ground-Sloth Banks, chief biologist at the LaBrea Tar Pits National Park, announced today that the critters destroying p...
Irishman Cillian Murphy known to his friends as silly wants to know the answer to the animal mystery. There have been thousands of people killed in earthquakes recently in Haiti and Chile yet animals seem to survive you never hear about how many ani...
Dr Dolittle was today talking to Nellie the elephant who had just escaped from the circus. Why did you leave the circus said Dr Dolittle "I packed my trunk and said goodbye to the circus because there were far to many clowns nearly as many clowns as there are in Gordon Browns cabinet" "So what are you hoping to do now" said Dr Dolittle. "I was a great fan of the memory man in the film the t...
Wolverines a predator renowned for its strength and tenacious character are dying out according to researchers who are working for Scientists who advocate Global Warming. Reindeer populations are also declining almost everywhere including Alaska, Can...
Reptiles have more uses than just pets - A company in the tropics where snakes and other reptiles are plentiful has come up with a product that has the fashion world all atwitter. Snakes and most other reptile types shed their skin periodically an...
ongoose Mania has hit this arrogantly shabby, but serpent and mole challenged South Carolina resort community with a new pest removal service. Snake B Gone, a cutting edge new company with a bite, was recently named most innovative new customer...
Louisiana Justice of the Peace stands by his objection to interracial marriages but has no objection to interspecies marriages. Last week reporters traveled deep into the back woods of Louisiana's, Tangipahoa Parish, 8th Ward, to the mobile home...
St. Louis, Missouri - Today the Plant Liberation Organization issued a press release, re-iterating their demands for a cruelty free world. Under threat of violence, we are releasing it in it's entirety, as we've been assured that we will be pelted with dirt if we do not. Here it is: For PETA to accuse fur wearers of bloody barbarism is fine. I agree that those who would kill an animal for the...
ELDON IA - Mothers here are condemning local guinea pigs for killing thousands of kids. Organized packs of guinea pigs reportedly attacked Eldon, killing nearly 3,160 children, more than Eldon even has. Most of the victims were chewed beyond recognit...
Horses, guinea pigs, goats and lama's that want to apply for a place in a children's farm will have to be vetted by the Independent Safeguarding and E.coli Authority (ISEA). "Small children pet the animals so parents should know their children ar...
Caretakers should not allow over-eighty-fives to touch animals at petting farms, a child psychologist has said amid acting-out fears involving four cities. Prof Enningtonpey said old people were the most likely people to touch animals but the hard...
In an unexpected twist in the turmoil of running Newcastle United, owner Ashley appears to have ditched his fellow cockney chums in favour of befriending those more acquainted with the animal kingdom. Peter Reid, infamous in Tyneside not for his p...
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