An American today claimed that American sports are 'real sports', and not the girls' games that the other 98% of the planet believe they are, according to one American football player. 'Real men wear helmets', Adolph O'Himmstler, said, whilst turn...
Look out swine flu, there's a new paranoia sweeping the nation. Pineapples are now the most feared fruit on earth, surpassed only by the pomegranite, and are causing panic worldwide. Pineapples are normally docile creatures, but can have large outbursts of outrage, jabbing anyone nearby with their sharp spikes. They sometimes branch off and form clumps of wild pineapples, which should not be ap...
US teen queen Miley Cyrus is to have her jaws wired together, not because she's obese, but in a last ditch attempt to make her bloody shut up. Officials in the Cyrus camp admitted privately that allowing the 16 year old starlet, aka Hannah Montana...
The US President today, in South Bratislavonia, begged the world to stop laughing at American Presidents. 'People of the world', he gravely intoned, like he was Abraham Lincoln or something, or at least a Hollywood Lincoln, 'laughing at Nixon was...
Statistics released today including the regular quota by CNN include the following: 68% of Americans believe Satan is real. 66% of Americans think the world was created by God. 64% of Americans think that aliens have contacted humans. 63% of Americans think the movie and television industries are not run by Jews. 20% of American graduating seniors are functionally illiterate.
4.000 British soldiers began leaving Iraq today, and their commanding officer, Major General Andrew Salmon-Gaffe, said: 'The whole world knows why Americans and British have been here. Iraq is an invented fake country, invented in London, and the wor...
Nashville, KY - A new study being released this week by the Lyons Institute reveals that over 85 percent of Americans suffer from a condition doctors are calling 'complete end-stage cerebral necrosis'. Possible causes of the condition have been id...
Thousands of people in the American Midwest have been asked to evacuate their homes, after it emerged they had built their homes a few feet from a river that regularly rises 40 feet. This follows the evacuation of an entire city, New Orleans, where m...
A scientist in Berlin today made the shock claim that Americans aren't dumb. 'Let's look at the evidence', Professor Heinrich Buschvoterr said, from his laboratory in the Berlin suburb of Wedding. 'The Moon landings, for instance. Adults around th...
Standards of England's sportsmen have fallen so low that the USA yesterday defeated England at football and cricket, and on the same day, and with the same players. 'It was easy', American fast bowler Ellington Duke said, 'we had them all out by l...
Washington D.C.- Partial results of the latest census performed by the U.S. Census Bureau was released today with troubling revelations. Apparently, 42% of the country's population does not believe in gravity. The Census Bureau is shocked by...
A new cartoon was shown today on American TV network NBC, 'Bin Laden the Cartoon Villain and his Wacky Faces'. In the children's program, every episode begins with a tall Arabic man with a ridiculously long beard ranting and raving about America a...
Moments ago, spoof writer, Mrs Skoob expressed a serious sense of bafflement and lack of the will to live after reading US spoof contributors describing a party during which Paris Hilton got off with some bloke, and somebody called Brenda Song took t...
It's been trumpeted as the most ambitious project ever undertaken by a group of writers, but US based spoofologist, Morse, is convinced he's on to a winner. "It's basically a story about pirates, which top spoof writers will write on a segment by...
Scientists today discovered one of the rarest things on Earth, an episode of an American sitcom that is actually funny. Speaking from the University of Self-Importance in Detroit, Dr Joey Chandler said: 'It was remarkable, we were actually trying...
The European Union and WallyMart warned the US yesterday against plunging the world into another depression by adopting a planned "Buy American" policy, intensifying fears of a trade war. The EU threatened to retaliate if the US Congress went ahea...
The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as a number of other enterprises, th...
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