This year's women's final was yet again between the Williams sisters, Venus and Serena. Venus had a torn ligament in her calf muscle and could not really play. So it was decided by the All England Lawn Tennis Club to substitute her for a look-alike s...
The Centre Court at Wimbledon was vandalised in the early hours of the morning after Andy Murray lost to American, Andy Roddick. Groundsman, Lorne Mower and Court official, Theresa Green, awoke this morning to find large craters all on the touchlines...
With the hope of becoming the first Briton in over 70 years to reach the finals of Wimbledon, the Scottish tennis sensation Andy Murray has got as far as the semi-finals. The 21-year-old Murray was playing American, Andy Roddick for a place in the fi...
Andy Murray, the first Briton for 80 years with any real chance of winning the men's singles championship at Wimbledon, has lost in the semi-finals. And, in a heart-warming gesture, Michael Jackson, the dead King of Pop, has sent a message to the pr...
Tennis has a problem. Like rugby union, and football, and motor racing it has become dull and predictable. Gone are the days when some aristocratically dressed chap, wearing plus-fours and a Tam o' Shanter hat,or woman in an ankle length billowing...
A Scotsman lost a tennis match today. He was beaten soundly and can now return to his crofter's cottage north of the border and keep Morag company. We will not see a kilted player on centre court again this year. It is thought that the sporran kept g...
Medical experts today warned that Britain could be facing up to 100,000 cases of Murray fever a day by the weekend. Dr Andi Medix, the Government's Chief Medical Officer, said "People can become quite delusional, especially in the heat. This is simil...
As "Murray Mania" sweeps the nation amidst Wimbledon fever, former British No. 1 Tim Henman is gearing up for a sensational return to the court next year! A spokesman for Tim's management company "Hensations" claims that the star has been gripped...
An outbreak of swine flu has led to panic at the Wimbledon tennis championships. Several ball boys and girls have been struck with the virus. They have been told to remain on court with Roger Federer and to cough all over him. Three players have a...
On the 10th aniversary of Scottish devolution, the Scottish parliament, in the presence of the Queen, has officialy anounced that they will quit the UK and become totally autonomous if Andy Murray wins Wimbledon!!! If Andy should "blow it" in typi...
It's more British than eating strawberries and cream, washed down with pints of flat ale, more British than beating Germany in World Wars, and even more British than constantly complaining about the weather. Yes, it's that time of the year again when...
The talented young Scot's manager, his mother, Doris (28) has pulled Murray from the tournament. "After seeing my wee bairn all hot and bothered and being kept up until all hours in that big, hot tent just so Eastenders could go upmarket to BBC2 -...
Andy Murray heroically defeated world ranked 10967 Stanilas Warwinka of Switzerland over five sets (2/6, 6/3, 6/3, 5/7, 6/3) tonight. This was only after the new £80, million roof collapsed narrowly missing spectators and players alike. Rumours a...
London, UK. The tennis tournament of Wimbledon was called of yesterday after three thousand tennis fans assaulted each other outside the South London stadium. Sixtyfour people were taken to hospital after a massive row in the Wimbledon Queue yesterd...
BBC TV presenter Jonathan Ross was said to be "in shock" this morning after it was announced last night that his resident house band, 4 Poofs And A Piano, are to go their own separate ways, citing 'musical differences' for the split. The 4 Poofs,...
Wimbledon - (ReUterus & Epidural Ass Mess): Mrs Roger Federer has hinted heavily that the imminent arrival of little Roger Federer Junior is scheduled for some time around 3pm on Sunday 5th July in the VIP enclosure of Wimbledon's Centre Court.
Stunning film actress Maria Sharapova's latest film 'The Scream' opened in cinemas in London today, and was met with mixed reviews from audiences and critics alike. The movie is a horror story set in a ruined castle in Wimbledon, where the tall an...
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