LOS ANGELES - Word out of the Vatican is that Pope Benedict XVI, has informed his press secretary Leonora Sardinia to set up a meeting with the much troubled Tinsel Town starlet Lindsay Lohan. The pope, 85, said that last week he received a text m...
The recent apology by Cardinal Keith O'Brien where he admitted to below-standard sexual conduct, has inspired a radical review of offences. HR, ecumenical and legal professionals are all celebrating the proposed new terminology. "Really it is an...
The world was shocked and mostly outraged today when a North Carolina pastor and recently converted Evangelical Christian was elected Pope by the College of Cardinals at the Vatican. The Reverend T. J. McCorkle of Louisburg, North Carolina, is a...
St. Louis - Matt Holiday of the Cardinals announced today that the Cardinals have picked Satan to be the new Pope. While there are no good Catholics on the team, many are well versed in the ways of the Vatican. "We feel Satan best represents the...
Vatican City -- As he retires as the mystical leader of the Catholic Church, Pope Benedict is being honored for the miracles he performed while pontiff. Among the amazing feats with which he is credited are these wonders: Converted the Pope Mobil...
Catholics everywhere have been shocked by the resignation of Pope Benedict. The Catholic Church are saddened that Pope Benedict is resigning and are hurt by his lack of commitment. One lady was heard whining, "I've been a good Catholic and have been to Mass every week, regularly attended confession, and have cooked fish every Friday as well as popping out a baby every year for the last twenty...
VATICAN - The Catholic world is shocked as word has just filtered out of the Vatican that Pope Benedict XVI is quitting. The pontiff is the first to step down since the middle ages, or as stand up comedian Zydeco Dupree said, back when Betty White...
This morning's announcement from the Vatican that 85 year old Pope Benedict XV1 is to stand down as leader of the Catholic church due to advancing years seems almost certain to mean the choice of a much younger replacement. Pope Benedict XV1's dec...
The press is telling us that Pope Benedict XVI is resigning and an election will be held for a new Pope. However a spy who has infiltrated the Vatican had revealed that 120 Cardinals already elected a new Pope. His name is Cardinal Mohammed Hus...
It was only a matter of time before it happened, but it appears that the next Pope will be Cardinal Peter Kodwo Appiah Turkson. Turkson, a high ranking member of the Ghanaian Catholic Church, will be the first black pope for fifteen hundred years, an...
Wayne Swan, Australia's cleverest dyslexic Treasurer, has re-opened the debate about the country becoming a republic. "When Britain was an empire it had an emperor. When it was a kingdom, it had a king. Now Australia's got Julia Gillard we must becom...
Leading Lesbian, Gay, Bi and Transgender leaders have caused outrage amongst the world's 'Roman Catholics' by claiming that Catholics "aren't fully developed as human beings". In a continuation of a verbal campaign which has seen the LGBT communi...
VATICAN CITY (ABSNN) - It is a fake, the papyrus fragment that claims Jesus was married, that is. According to today's issue of the Vatican's newspaper, L'Observatore Romano, "Substantial reasons would lead one to conclude that the papyrus is inde...
Sister Flacid Matriach, Mother Superior of The Last Evacuation of Christ, a cloister of silent bald nuns in the Holy Land, have vehemently denied any involvement in the Pubes for Pews scandal which surfaced this Monday. Talking through an interpr...
CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - The face of Republican Presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, "miraculously appeared" on a urinal mint, in the toilet of the Monk's Quarters, in this small Jesuit Convent tucked away in the foothills of west-central Wes...
I am a Roman Catholic clergyman, a Jesuit. From 1991 through the fall of 1994, I lived in American Fork, Utah, a then small, village between Salt Lake City and Provo. I was a missionary to the Mormons. I was also deeply under cover. For the first year-and-a-half my cover was that of a bar fly with my own stool at the le Sabre Lounge in American Fork, an honest to goodness bar (a private cl...
The Pope has declared Original Sin forgiven upon hearing that a woman has menstruated Jesus. The woman in her thirties was routinely about to change her sanitary towel when she saw a face staring up from between her legs. Upon closer inspection the w...
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