London - Wimbledon officials today dropped a bombshell on the tennis world, when they announced the complete elimination of grunting for 2011. "We wanted to give players nearly a year to work on their play without grunting," said official on cond...
The Wombles are sueing Serena Williams for attempting to take over their patch and sending them all to sleep. It's bad enough that the Wombles are pretty "out" and nobody buys their records anymore (except Mike Batts kiddies), also the fact that o...
Following a glut of complaints to the Lawn Tennis Association; the Wimbledon ruling elite have finally buckled to pressure from equal opportunities groups and for the first time will finally allow disablers, mentalists and retards to act both as matc...
Scottish Tennis misfit, Andy Murray, has sensationally gained his first actual fans today. The British Number 1, notorious for his surly personality redolent of a whiny teenager, though, has put his new-found surge in popularity down to his charisma.
Wimbledon - (Reuterus & Breastfeeding Mess): "It's the sight of those pert, bouncy totems of male enslavement in a see-thru T-shirt I fear most," the No 4 seed's trainer warned today. "There's only so much punishment the lad can take!" The...
Britain's number 1 tennis player, Andy Murray, came through his quarter final match against France's Jo-Wilfried Tsonga yesterday to set up an exciting semi final clash with world number 1 Rafa Nadal, and told journalists he has "a cunning plan" with...
Kim Sears - pouty irritating girlfriend of pouty irritating tennis nerd Andy Murray - today threatened to eat her own face if the young Scot goes on to win Wimbledon. "There's no living with him as it is. All he talks about is tennis, his mum, ho...
London - (Balls Up Mess): An entirely gratuitous visit by HM the hoaxer monarch to Wimbledon today is hexing Andy Murray's chances. The posturing grand slam wannabe's Centre Court bid against Finland's Jarkko Nieminen now looks doomed. Critics...
Wimbledon -- Tragedy struck Wimbledon today as hundreds of exhaustively bored tennis onlookers were rushed to local hospitals, including at least one man via wheelbarrow as local highways became log-jammed in emergency traffic. Although the day...
The record books were torn in half, and then torn in half again yesterday as two little-known tennis players battled it out for a place in the next round of the Wimbledon All England tennis championships. The match between American John Isner and...
There was a shock in store for tennis fans when they arrived at Wimbledon this morning, after it was announced that a trial is to be given to the revolutionary Vuvuzela sound system employed so enthusiastically at the 2010 World Cup. Fans at the t...
The Queen took revenge today on snot-nosed, misery Andy Murray by blowing on a Vuvuzela everytime he served a ball on the Centre Court at Wimbledon. The number four seed won his match in straight sets against Czech Jan Hazek but clearly looked vex...
In an unprecedented move, Buckingham Palace has decreed that the All-England Tennis Championship - Wimbledon - is to be cancelled. Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth was to have attended the championship for the first time is 138 years - but the news br...
In the early hours of this morning April the first 2010, a silver coloured Flying Saucer, 50 feet wide, with red glowing lights all round and a strange eerie humming noise landed on Wimbledon Common. Great Uncle Bulgaria the leader of the Wombles...
Following on from the terrible summer of 2008, the people of Britain were promised a heat wave for the summer of 2009. With the help of global warming and the shift in the gulf stream, Britain was set to receive record breaking temperatures come the summer months. Everyone was readying the sun cream and cider with ice cubes until the UK Weather office issued a heat warning which initiated the mut...
A man today said that he missed the tennis in a way, as there was nothing decent on the television during the day. The man is not thought to be a big tennis fan. It's just that he hates all the crap that they show on television. "I hate all the cr...
Today's Wimbledon Mens Singles Final was interrupted briefly by a trio of kilt wearing Scotsman who trespassed onto centre court whilst the final between Roger Federer and Andy Roddick was in motion. The most unusual thing was that the intruders...
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