PANAMA CITY, Florida - Secretary of State John Kerry visited The Sunshine State and spoke at a convention of retired Southern pharmacists. He stated that should North Korean leader Kim Jong Un carry through with his threat to invade Australia, the...
A recent poll suggests that Australians like the element of danger provided by man eating sharks around the Perth area. An attempt to help the promotion of safe bathing by reducing the number of these evil monsters has been sabotaged by the poi...
Australia has given way to "whingeing Poms" by agreeing to celebrate Guy Fawkes night. The tribal chiefs have said though that like Easter no one will know when it is. "There is no point in lighting extra bonfires though, as our cities catch fire...
BEVERLY HILLS - Selena Gomez, who is 21, has just announced that she has decided to cancel her upcoming tour of Australia. The former Disney star who appeared in the hit show The Wizards of Waverly Place talked to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywo...
Australia, keen to establish its cultural presence on a Global scale is to open a Pisstro restaurant in Horrids, Knightsbridge. Michelin 4 tyre chef, Johnny Craddock will be serving up from a whopping 1000 different burger choices, chips and bak...
Australia, keen to lose its Barbecue and Beers image has assembled a cultural fact finding team to "find out what this culture lark is". The team will visit selected countries with what it imagines to have a more impressive global Intellectual pr...
Intrepid Brit explorer Ralph Fiend has returned from an extensive surveying expedition in Australia. Often confused with the actor Sir Ranulph Fiends, Sir Ranulph said, "The expedition was set up to see if Australia was as many people have reported j...
Wildlife expert David Bellingham claims to have identified a harmless frog living wild in Australia, Foster's News Agency claimed today. The find may qualify for a $10000 prize offered by the Sidney Opera House Zoological Foundation. The frog wi...
SPITSBERGEN, Norway-A source close to St. Nicholas, also known as Santa Claus or Kris Kringle, reports that the patron saint of the Christmas season might be permanently relocating to a warmer, drier location in the next few years. The source...
NEW YORK CITY - Word has reached the Big Apple that the rugged actor who starred in the Crocodile Dundee movies is headed for Divorce City. Paul Hogan, 74, has just learned that his wife of 23 years, Linda Kozlowski, 54, wants out of their May-Dec...
TORONTO, Canada - According to a member of her band, Taylor Swift was beginning to become concerned about where her next breakup song would be coming from. Well it appears that she has just found the answer. Swift attended the Toronto Internationa...
BRONX, New York - The Bronx Zoo has informed the New York City Police Department that Barbie, one of their Australian kangaroos has jumped out of her escape-proof enclosure and vaulted the zoo grounds six-foot-tall fence. Ingrid Chainmill, 27, who...
Queensland - A dawn raid has seen two US AV-8B Harrier jets bomb the World Heritage-listed marine park off the coast of Queensland following the breakdown of diplomatic dialogue. Launched from the aircraft carrier USS Bonhomme Richard the Harriers...
At the start of the dinosaur era, some two hundred and twenty-five million years ago, there was one continent, and one ocean. The continent was called Pangea, and the ocean, showing a remarkable lack of imagination, was called the Big Ocean. Tectonic...
Brisbane, Australia. In news breaking, tearing and generally wreaking havoc, Australian Prime Minister Julia (the perfumed shark) Gillard has declared martial law on the whole nation, following a near fatal decapitation of the PM by a deliberately th...
This is the second in a series of two wonderful articles about horrible, vicious, dangerous, hideous, disgusting Australian animals that for some reason contain no mention of Rupert Murdoch. (Note to reader, this article does not contain information about horrible, vicious Australians, although many consider them to be in the category of animals as well. I will cover them in a third article later)...
MARINA DEL REY, California - Word out of the Left Coast is that Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth have decided to end their engagement. According to Bedroom Pillow Talk the decision was made over the phone since Hemsworth has been down in his native...
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