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Funny story: The Oscars: Heidi the Cross-Eyed Opossum pisses on Nicole Kidman

The Oscars: Heidi the Cross-Eyed Opossum pisses on Nicole Kidman

Los Angeles - Is a squinty-eyed critter squirting on Nicole Kidman's picture some kind of psychic tip about Oscars Night glory? Online bookies Aintgottaprayer.con say Yes! and offer 2/1 for the Oz actress to scoop the Academy Award gong. The op...

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Funny story: Colin Firth Beside Himself After Awards Snub

Colin Firth Beside Himself After Awards Snub

The King's Speech star, Colin Firth, was brought crashing to earth last night when his seeming unstoppable run of awards was halted. Best acting prize at the Evening Standard Awards went to Andrew Garfield for his role in The Social Network, a fil...

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Funny story: Future News: "Farty Fart Farts" Wins Every Oscar

Future News: "Farty Fart Farts" Wins Every Oscar

(Published 2051) - AERO-LAYER 15, LOST ANGELES - The Oscars, a proud tradition from the tribal days of America, has been won by the feature-length film Farty Fart Farts. FFF, is a romantic-action-thriller-horror-comedy about a bottom that farts, a...

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Funny story: King's Peach or True Grits? Foodie flavored movies top Oscar nominations

King's Peach or True Grits? Foodie flavored movies top Oscar nominations

Hollywood - (Gongs): The award proposals follow the spectacular success of A Feastfull of Dollars, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert, The Avi Ate 'Er, Babette's Fist (sic), Gone With The Wind, A Man For All Seasonings (1939), Silence...

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Funny story: Justin Bieber, Ricky Gervais, Robert Pattison, Howard Stern To Host 2011 Academy Awards.*

Justin Bieber, Ricky Gervais, Robert Pattison, Howard Stern To Host 2011 Academy Awards.*

Nominations for the 83rd Academy Awards were announced today, by Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences President Heidi Montag and 2009 Oscar winner Mo'Nique. Fluffytits and Mo'Nique, who won an Academy® Award® for her supporting pe...

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Funny story: Avatar Special Edition Limited Edition Edition Second Edition Hits Cinemas

Avatar Special Edition Limited Edition Edition Second Edition Hits Cinemas

James Cameron's 2009 blockbuster, Avatar, has hit cinemas yet again, this time featuring twelve more seconds of additional footage. The latest release, branded the Special Edition Limited Edition Edition Second Edition, is said to feature "Sigour...

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Funny story: Meryl Streep Insists That Her Husband Get His Tattoos Removed Or Else She'll File For Divorce

Meryl Streep Insists That Her Husband Get His Tattoos Removed Or Else She'll File For Divorce

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Meryl Streep and her husband were in Green Bay picking out some cheese that they plan to serve at a big Easter Sunday party they are having at their $4.3 million Hollywood Hills mansion Casa Blonde Pubes, which once belonged to...

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Funny story: The Academy Awards: Hurt Locker Wins Best Picture

The Academy Awards: Hurt Locker Wins Best Picture

HOLLYWOOD - The Hurt Locker An Iraq war film about an army disposal bomb squad has won this year's Academy Award for Best Picture. James Cameron's ex-wife Kathyrn Bigelow, directed the Academy Award winning film and has become the first female dir...

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Funny story: The Academy Awards: Jeff Bridges Wins The Oscar For Best Actor

The Academy Awards: Jeff Bridges Wins The Oscar For Best Actor

HOLLYWOOD - After five nominations, Jeff Bridges has finally won an Oscar for best actor. The son of Lloyd Bridges and brother of Beau Bridges won for his portrayal of Otis "Bad Apple" Blake in the film Crazy Heart. Blake is a down and out country...

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Funny story: The Academy Awards: Sandra Bullock Wins The Oscar For Best Actress

The Academy Awards: Sandra Bullock Wins The Oscar For Best Actress

HOLLYWOOD - Sandra Bullock beat out the highly favored Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren to win the Academy Award for Best Actress. Bullock won for her performance in the movie Blind Side, which is not the story of Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder as many...

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Funny story: Epic Oscars Ceremony Expected

Epic Oscars Ceremony Expected

The most expensive and longest Oscars ceremony in history is expected this year with creative control and a budget of $1.2trillion handed to "Avatar" director, James Cameron. The extra budget, syphoned off the US government stimulus package as a t...

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Funny story: Cheryl Cole Gets Last Minute Oscar Nomination

Cheryl Cole Gets Last Minute Oscar Nomination

Breaking news from Hollywood, the land of the mountain bike, is suggesting that Girls Aloud chanteuse, text victim, X-Factor judge and 5'3" pocket dynamo, our very own Cheryl Cole has been nominated at the eleventh hour for a special category Oscar.

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Funny story: Oscar Winner's Directorial Debut Was Utter Crap

Oscar Winner's Directorial Debut Was Utter Crap

We'd heard the rumours, now we've seen the movie, and we can conclusively confirm that Oscar winning Director James Cameron's directorial debut was a piece of absolute crap. The director's 'monsterpiece', Piranha 2: The Spawning features acres of...

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Funny story: The Hurt Locker Wins Another Unnoticed Award

The Hurt Locker Wins Another Unnoticed Award

Mistakenly swapped for a movie title about the life and times of early 20th century painter Seraphine de Senlis, Kathryn Bigelow's "The Hurt Locker" was awarded "Best Picture" by the National Society of Film Critics. Though the cerebral, lifeles...

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Funny story: Emma Watson vies for the coveted Milano

Emma Watson vies for the coveted Milano

Hollywood, California - Emma Watson is making a serious bid for the much sought Milano award this year. The Milano is given out each year to the television star that is regarded as most able to inspire masturbation in males of all ages. Past winn...

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Funny story: Kanye West Confesses "I did it to boost Jay's ratings"

Kanye West Confesses "I did it to boost Jay's ratings"

Rapper Kanye West has revealed that his rude interruption of Taylor Swift's acceptance speech at Sunday's MTV Video Music Awards was a publicity stunt, strategically planned to increase ratings for Mr. Leno's new weeknight talk show, which debuted at...

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Funny story: 1000 CCTV Cameras For One Conviction

1000 CCTV Cameras For One Conviction

One thousand CCTV cameras are used to secure every conviction of every criminal in Britain! This impressive statistic was provided by the Society Of Camera Retailers And Professionals (SOCRAP) at the society's annual awards dinner. "This means...

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